


An Affair to forget

by lizzybennettdarcy



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-13
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2017-11-18 13:47:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/561721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzybennettdarcy/pseuds/lizzybennettdarcy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This thing between the two of them shouldn't have happened. No one could ever know about it, it was wrong. Their affair was explosive and it was consuming him entirely. He wasn't sure he'd survive when she left him in the morning. REPOST from Fanfiction.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Breaking

**This story is sort of a surprise. I sat down to write the next chapter of Smooth Criminal and this came out instead. The angst is high in this Puckleberry fic. Rachel isn't very nice and is selfish the way that the Glee writers write her. I hope you like it. I might be persuaded to do a sequel in the future but for now this is it. I hope you enjoy it. The Blaine/Puck friendship is one of my favourites and it's heavily featured. The POV alternates between the two of them throughout. Mostly canon minus Joe, I love him but he wasn't a part of this world. The timing is also a little different. Finchel got engaged in the fall and the first wedding attempt happened in late November after Sectionals. This all takes place at the end of January. Rated M for light flashback smut and language. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

"Righhht therrrre! Noah!"

Puck continued to pound into her as he felt her fluttering around him and her loud sighs filled the room. His fingers found her clit and she wailed. He felt himself fall over the edge as she came around him a third time. He rolled over onto his back, pulling her on top of him as they fought to catch their breath.

"Don't do it." He panted out, holding her tightly against him as she tensed up.

"Noah." She warned even as he shook his head and held her tighter.

"Don't. It isn't too late to cancel." He felt the usual wave of self-loathing overtake him as he begged her to reconsider.

Rachel sighed in a way so different from just minutes before and pulled away from him. He watched as she sat on the edge of his bed with her back to him.

"It's too late." She whispered as her shoulders slumped forwards.

He did he best to fight the anger rising in his chest. He closed his eyes, bunching the fabric of his sheets tightly in his fists. He could feel her gaze on him as his emotions warred under the surface.

"Get out." He muttered harshly as the anger and hurt won out over his self-control.

"Noah!" Rachel breathed out in surprise.

His eyes popped open and he glared at her fiercely as he sat up.

"You had your fun, now leave," He replied furiously, ignoring the hurt in her brown eyes. "It's a fuck and chuck right? That's how it works Berry. You take what you want from me and leave. You got off five times tonight. So leave."

She stared at him in horror as his words settled over the ruins of their blissful evening. She shook her head fiercely as tears began to stream down her face.

"You know it's not like-" she whispered, pleaded for him to understand.

"It's not like what Berry?" He yelled and she recoiled as he continued. "You haven't been slipping into my bed every other night for months? I haven't been your dirty little secret? You don't fuck me and then proclaim your love for my ex- _best friend_ the next day at school? You didn't show up at my house the night before your rushed little high school gong show of a wedding part 2 just begging me to touch you?"

"You've never asked me to stop." She whispered as if it justified their affair.

Puck snorted in disbelief as he left the bed and found his clothes. He dressed quickly and threw her clothes at her before facing her once more.

"Why would I complain? I've been in love with you since we were kids." His anger rose when she gasped because there wasn't a single person alive who didn't know how he felt, including her. "Why would I complain when I was getting even a tiny little piece of you. I knew you'd never love me like you love _him._ At least this way I had you in some way." He sighed tiredly and did his best to ignore the tears threatening to fall from his own eyes. "You're getting married tomorrow Rach and you expect me to stand beside Finn and support it." He scraped a hand over his face tiredly. "And I'll do it."

She had finished dressing as she listened to his words tearfully. The confusion was evident on her face as he told her he'd be there. Her confusion grew as he pushed her towards the door of his bedroom before continuing.

"I'll be there. I'll smile for the pictures and put up with watching you love someone who isn't me. I'll grit my teeth like a man and watch you sign your life away to a man who isn't worthy of you." He cupped her face as the tears betrayed him and started to fall. "But I never want to see you again afterwards."

"But-" Rachel stammered out in surprise only to be cut off by his lips.

He kissed her gently and he knew it was goodbye; pulling back as he felt their tears begin to flow together.

"I'm quitting Glee after the wedding and you will never hear from me again. I put in a request for early graduation when you told me about the engagement and I've worked my ass off to make it happen. I finish next week. I'll see you tomorrow." He whispered sadly before closing the door in her face.

* * *

He was on autopilot the next morning. He hadn't slept a wink and he honestly didn't know how he'd get through the day. So he shut down his emotions and pulled himself out of bed. He ignored the way his sheets still smelled of her vanilla perfume and a pair of her underwear in the corner of his room. He walked to his closet and pulled out the tux he'd only worn once before.

He couldn't believe that all of this had started the night after the first wedding attempt. He had barely been able to hold himself together as he stood beside Finn the first time. But that was before Rachel had become partially his.

" _Rach, what are you doing here?" He asked when he saw her standing on his porch._

_She threw herself into his arms in tears and allowed him to pull her up to his room. He was glad that no one was home because he wasn't sure how he'd explain this one. He lay them down on his bed and held her as she shook, wondering if maybe they'd called off the engagement. His hopes were dashed when he noticed that she was still wearing Finn's ring._

" _What if Quinn doesn't make it?" She sobbed into his shoulder as he ran his fingers through her hair soothingly._

" _She'll be okay babe. Q's a fighter. The doctor said she'd live." He answered her._

" _Finn doesn't understand! He's so upset with me for postponing the wedding!"_

_Puck clenched his jaw and spent the next twenty minutes trying to calm her without mentioning Finn's name. He's still not sure who made the first move but the next thing he knew they were naked and he was sinking slowly inside of her. He couldn't help the sense of peace that fell over him as their bodies moved together perfectly. The kisses were sweet and the caresses tender as he drew out breathy sighs of satisfaction from Rachel. He spent the next few hours just worshipping her body and she repaid the favour._

" _Oh Godddddd. Noaahhh!" She keened out against his shoulder and he knew he was a goner._

" _Rach Baby," He panted out, brushing her sticky hair out of her face as he continued to move inside of her. "Say it again. Say my name."_

" _Noahhh!" She began to chant his name and they fell over the edge together._

The two of them never discussed what had happened. It was probably the only thing that Rachel Berry had never overanalyzed and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. They woke up the next morning in each other's arms. She'd kissed him gently before she collected her things and left. If he had hoped to hear of a Finchel breakup the next day he had been sorely disappointed.

She kept coming though, in every way really he thought with sarcasm. She showed up two nights later and dropped to her knees, blowing him when he initially hesitated. Sometime after her third orgasm he decided he would take whatever he was given by his own personal addiction. The two of them had been sleeping together for the last two months.

She hadn't even been the one to tell him that they had picked another wedding date. He'd been the last to know and it was Blaine of all people who broke the news to him. He really shouldn't have been surprised that his ex Warbler friend had known what was going on.

" _Puck." Blaine's voice broke into his thoughts as he beat the hell out of the school punching bag._

_The night before he'd given Rachel a record number of orgasms and she'd still been on Finn's fucking arm this morning._

" _Puck." Blaine repeated and something in his voice caught his attention. It sounded an awful lot like pity._

" _Sup?" He asked carefully as he took off his gloves and faced his friend._

_Blaine looked around the room for a few moments, clearly trying to choose his words carefully. After a moment and a heavy sigh he turned back to Puck._

" _They're getting married this weekend," He said sadly, watching his friend with concern._

_Puck could hear Blaine explaining that the Justice of the Peace was available and had called Finn a week ago. She'd known about this for a week and hadn't said anything. He felt his world crashing down around him as he staggered suddenly towards the bench. He felt Blaine's hands steadying him and helping him to his seat. He didn't need to look up to know that Blaine knew exactly what he was feeling._

" _How long have you known?" He asked blankly._

" _About the wedding? Kurt called me and told me five days ago," He ran a hand through his hair before continuing. "About you and Rachel? I knew a few days after the first wedding attempt."_

_Puck's head whipped towards his friend in surprise, eyes full of questions._

" _Your eyes followed her everywhere she went, more intensely than usual. Hers were constantly moving towards you before she'd look to Finn guiltily. Then after a week or so you'd both alternate between looking miserable and ridiculously content." He explained apologetically._

" _Does Kurt?" He asked quietly._

" _No. I haven't told anyone. And I won't. You're my friend Puck, probably the best one I've got." He bumped him with his shoulder. "And she's my Maria. If I got a vote she'd dump the idiot and this thing wouldn't be a secret."_

_Puck nodded in thanks before getting up and beating the hell out of the bag until his knuckles were bleeding. Blaine didn't say another word, only pulling him away from the gym towards the nurse's office to bandage his hands._

_Rachel came over that night. He wasn't sure if the bruised knuckles or the frantic way that he pumped into her tipped her off. Her eyes had found his and she had whispered simply 'you know'. He hadn't bothered answering her, instead pushing them both to their limit all night knowing that it might just be the last time._

It hadn't been the last time. She had shown up every night since and they'd fucked the breath out of each other.

* * *

He stood in front of the little chapel and stared at the sign that announced the wedding of Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson. He felt sick. He had promised to be here but he wasn't sure that he'd be able to do it. His whole body was screaming for him to turn and run. He felt a hand land on his shoulder and didn't need to look to know who it was.

"You don't have to do this." Blaine said gently.

Puck shook his head and muttered something about promises.

Blaine let out an impatient sigh before stepping into his line of vision and glaring at him until his attention shifted from the sign.

"Fuck promises Puck." He growled and Puck stepped back in surprise. "You chose to do this with her so you aren't entirely blameless. But expecting you to be here for this is a really shitty thing for her to do. I love Rachel, but I hate her for doing this to you. You shouldn't be here."

Puck regarded his friend for a few moments as he thought over his words. He nodded and pulled his friend into a tight hug before turning around and walking back towards his truck.

* * *

Blaine watched his friend get into his truck and waited until the vehicle disappeared around the corner. He felt rage coursing through his veins and he was having a hard time reining it in. Puck looked fucking destroyed. After a moment he took a deep breath and headed inside. He walked towards the bridal room and entered without knocking. Rachel and Kurt exclaimed in surprise but he silenced them both with a glare.

"I need a moment with Rachel." He said to his boyfriend.

Kurt looked like he was going to argue. His eyes darted between his best friend and boyfriend suspiciously before nodding and leaving the room.

Blaine and Rachel stared at each other. Her eyes widened as his glare darkened.

"Blaine, I-"

"Shut up."

"Blaine!" She exclaimed in surprise.

"He's not coming."

"Who's not-"

"Puck. He was standing outside just staring at the sign. He looked like it might actually kill him to be here. So I told him to go home." She backed up when he crossed the room, stopping just in front of her. "What the hell were you thinking Rachel? I love you but this whole thing is incredibly selfish of you."

"I don't know what-"

"Liar. You've been fucking him because he's in love with you and he'd do anything for you. Then you asked him to be at your wedding. You expected him to stand as best man for your fiancé and watch wordlessly with a big, fake smile as he loses you. You're selfish and manipulative and no matter how much you mean to me I'll always hate you for the way you treated him."

She stepped back at his words and tears began to pool in her eyes.

"It was wrong to expect him to stand there and watch you marry his ex best friend. So he left."

He watched as an array of emotions crossed her face. She stepped towards him so that he could comfort her like he normally would but he halted her with his hands.

"No. I'm not going to stand here and tell you that everything's okay. I refuse to lie and say that what you're doing is okay and that everyone will be fine," She gasped and the tears began to fall more quickly. "You're about to destroy his life because you're too cowardly to choose."

"I-I just"

He shook his head and walked away from her as she stuttered behind him. He tossed a few parting words over his shoulder.

"I won't be there either. I can't support this. I'm gonna go and get my best friend drunk because that's all I can do for him. You're breaking his heart for a guy you clearly don't love enough to marry-"

"I DO love Finn, Blaine Anderson!" She shouted fiercely at his back.

"Then why did you spend the last two months fucking someone else?" He accused harshly before leaving the room and slamming the door behind him.

As he walked down the hallway he could hear her broken sobs following him. He ignored Kurt's questioning glare as the boy rushed by him towards her room.

He ignored the shouts of his friends that followed him out the door. He got into his car and dug out the fake ID that Puck had given him as a joke and headed to the nearest liquor store. Apparently the anger on his face aged him because the cashier didn't bother carding him as he paid for three bottles of Jack.

He drove out of town and after twenty minutes of open road, he pulled down a hidden dirt path. Parking his car next to Puck's truck he got out and brought a bottle with him. Puck was sitting on the hood of his truck and didn't seem surprised or upset to see him there. Blaine took a swig of the harsh alcohol and handed the bottle to Puck.

* * *

Puck regarded his friend curiously and with a sad smile accepted the bottle.

"Cheers." He muttered sarcastically before pouring a large amount down his throat. He closed his eyes and relished the burning in his chest as it went down.

He sat there with probably the best friend he'd ever had and drank himself stupid. There were no words exchanged as they gazed out at the lake in front of them and passed the bottle between them. They had both turned their phones off when the vibrating and ringing became too much. Actually, Blaine had turned his off and then talked Puck out of tossing his in the lake.

"I promised her." Puck whispered after an hour of steady drinking.

"I know. I told her you made it to the front door before I sent you home." Blaine answered him simply.

Puck turned his attention to his friend and studied him. He wasn't entirely sure when the two of them had become so close. Sometime between fight club and Glee club they had formed a bond. Their mutual dislike for Finn's ego had bonded them as well he was sure.

"Thanks man." He replied with gratitude.

Blaine simply nodded and handed him the half-empty second bottle. Bottoms up.

* * *

Blaine opened his eyes against the harsh sunshine and regretted it immediately. His back hurt as he stretched out in the bed of Puck's truck. His eyes found Puck who was snoring loudly beside him. He considered waking him but if Puck's hangover was half as miserable as Blaine's it would be best if he slept a little longer. His mood had improved a bit the more they drank. When he woke up the knowledge that Rachel was now Mrs. Hudson would be hard to take. So he was going to postpone the inevitable for his friend as long as he could.

He groaned quietly as he rolled towards his phone and waited for it to power up. He shouldn't have been surprised that he had 47 missed calls and 23 text messages. He cringed as he began scrolling through the texts.

**Kurt: Where are you Blaine?**

**Kurt: She's been crying for twenty minutes. What the hell did you say to her?**

**Kurt: Goddamn it Blaine. Answer my calls.**

**Kurt: You better not have turned off your phone to ignore my calls Blaine Anderson!**

**Finn: Dude have you seen Puck?**

**Quinn: Rachel's really upset. She mumbled something about Puck. Is he okay? Are you okay Blaine?**

**Kurt: Blaine Anderson if you don't call me back I swear to God.**

**Santana: Everything's a lil' bit fucked up. Take care of Puck.**

Blaine scrolled over the next few before finding some that he had received an hour or so later.

**Rachel: Please answer your phone. Or at the very least get Noah to call me back.**

Blaine growled in irritation before deleting that one.

**Finn: What the fuck did you say to her? She's been crying for two hours Blaine. It's our fucking wedding day. And where the hell is Puck?**

**Kurt: Blaine if you don't answer your phone, we're over. Pick up the effing phone.**

Blaine shook his head and groaned as the texts got angrier. He sat up quietly and hopped out of the truck, glancing back at a still sleeping Puck. He walked down towards the edge of the lake and scrolled through his contact list. He hovered over Kurt's number before choosing Santana instead. He absentmindedly began skipping flat rocks as the phone rang.

"Blaine." Her voice was quiet and he heard her shuffling around before closing a door behind her.

"Hey San." He replied tiredly.

"How's the hangover?" She asked without the usual amusement.

"Sucks. What happened San?" He asked impatiently.

"Have you talked to Kurt?" She asked in deflection.

"Nope. I didn't feel like listening to him screeching about betrayals and other bullshit. His texts told me anything I needed to know from him. What happened San?"

He heard her sigh and he sat down on the edge of the lake.

"I don't know what you said to her, although I suspect it was about her breaking Puckerman's fucking heart." She paused as if waiting for confirmation. When he gave her none, she continued. "You stormed out of there and you looked so angry. And everyone could hear her wailing in her room as you walked out. Kurt seemed to think that the two of you have been sexing behind his back."

Santana laughed at this and Blaine smirked despite not finding anything funny about it.

"Finn was sort of blissfully unaware as usual until Kurt realised she wasn't calming down anytime soon. So then Finn walked in and she started crying even harder and locked herself in the fucking bathroom. The whole damn thing was so typically Berry." Santana sighed at the memory.

"Then what?"

"Finn tried coaxing her out for a while. He lost his temper eventually and started screaming at her through the door. Her parents finally stepped in and insisted on taking her home. Finn was pretty pissed but the Berry daddies gave it to him and they dragged her home. The Justice of the Peace told them that he won't be marrying them, he said they're too immature."

Blaine breathed out a sigh of relief, although he wasn't really sure of what to do now.

"So they aren't married?" He questioned.

"No, they aren't," She said tiredly. "That doesn't mean that Finn won't be pushing for a reschedule."

"Tell me about Kurt." He said wearily and he closed his eyes when he heard Santana muttering curses under her breath.

"He was freaking the hell out when you left. He wasn't much help to Rachel because he accused her of sleeping with you. He honestly didn't notice that Puck wasn't here either. I think even Hudson was starting to link the two things together," She paused and he knew she was trying to figure out how to continue kindly. He really had to give her props for caring so much.

"Spit it out San."

"I think it's over. He was so angry and he said a lot of things Blaine. You have a few horrible voicemails waiting to be heard I think."

"I know. It's been over for a while San. He started texting Chandler again. I knew when I walked out that it was over. My best friend or my cheating boyfriend? Puck wins every time." He replied tonelessly.

"Where are you San?" He asked when he realised she'd been whispering the whole conversation. Santana Lopez does not whisper.

"In a closet." She answered before growling as he started laughing uncontrollably. "Ha fucking ha. I'm at a diner with the rest of the club minus Rachel and I doubt you want them to know you called."

He apologized and admitted that it was nice to laugh, even at her expense.

"Is he okay Blaine?" Santana asked worriedly.

"Yeah, he's still passed out in the truck. He should be fine if the hangover doesn't kill him." He laughed humourlessly.

"Just take care of him k? I know you're not gonna tell me that I'm right, which I am by the way. But I saw him the day before the wedding and I know he's not okay." Santana sighed and whispered a goodbye before hanging up.

Blaine sat in silence for a few moments as he thought over everything he'd been told.

The wedding hadn't happened. That didn't necessarily mean anything good though. Puck still wasn't her first choice.

Blaine scrubbed a hand over the stubble on his cheek and wearily called his voicemail. He might as well get the ugliness over with.

* * *

Puck had never been so hung-over in his life. His head was throbbing and his eyes hurt as the sunshine pelted down on him. He sat up a little too quickly and his head spun. He leaned over the side of his truck just in time to vomit painfully. He found himself heaving with renewed force as he remembered why he was hung-over and laying in his truck bed by the lake.

"Gross," Blaine said as he walked up towards him.

Leaning back, he watched Blaine through one eye as he rummaged through his car. His friend closed the door triumphantly as he held up a bottle of Aspirin and two water bottles.

"I came prepared." He explained as he hopped back on the truck bed and tossed Puck a bottle of water.

"Thanks." He grunted as he chugged the fluid to ease his sore throat.

Blaine nodded and handed him some aspirin after swallowing a few himself.

"How much did we drink?" Puck asked with closed eyes.

"There's only half a bottle left. I brought three." Blaine answered with a shrug.

The boys settled into silence as they waited for the Aspirin to take effect. Puck tried desperately to focus on feeling better and not on the reason he felt so bad. He opened his eyes and studied his friend. Blaine looked like shit, in a way that had nothing to do with the hangover. He raised an eyebrow in question and watched as his friend sighed.

"Kurt and I are over. He left a bunch of nasty texts and voicemails on my phone last night. San said he said a lot of shit when I didn't call him back." He explained with a shrug.

Puck stared at his friend and felt a wave of guilt crash over him.

"Blaine I'm sorry man." He said after a few moments.

Blaine shook his head fiercely, immediately groaning at the resulting dizziness.

"Not your fault. We've been heading that way for a while. He's been cheating again and I was just sort of waiting until after Nationals." He replied and Puck believed him.

"You never said anything." Puck accused.

"Yeah well you were dealing with your own shit, that you kept secret as well. Need I remind you?" Blaine replied harmlessly.

Puck conceded the point and reached into his back pocket, pulling out his cell phone. He stared at it for a few minutes before turning it on. Blaine was silent as he scrolled through his texts.

There were a few concerned texts from Quinn, San and Sam. He's not surprised that they knew why he wasn't there. He skipped over the ten or so texts from Rachel and Finn. He had a lot of missed calls and more than a few voicemails. He put his cell phone back in his pocket, uninterested in anything anyone had to say.

"The wedding didn't happen." Blaine told him after a few moments of quiet.

Puck's eyes were on him as his heart beat hopefully. Blaine was watching him as well and he knew that the hope had shown on his face when Blaine shook his head sadly.

"I fought with her before I came after you. I said a lot of things and she was crying by the time I left," He admitted, looking out at the lake and away from Puck. "I guess she didn't stop crying. Eventually someone got Finn and he couldn't calm her down either. She locked herself in the bathroom and Finn freaked out until her fathers stepped in and cancelled the wedding. They took her home."

Puck felt like an idiot for hoping that maybe she had decided that she didn't want Finn. He looked at his friend again questioningly.

"What did you say to her?"

"I called her on her shit. I told her she was being selfish and it was fucked up of her to expect you to be there. I told her I love her but I hate her for treating you so badly," He watched as Blaine's teeth grinded together. "I told her I wouldn't stand there and watch her break your heart by marrying that fucking idiot. It's really hard to like her when she's being such a bitch."

Puck nodded as he thought over his friend's words.

"Thanks."

Blaine shrugged his shoulders like it wasn't a big deal. But it was. He'd just given up a friendship with Rachel and his boyfriend to stick up for him.

"Seriously dude." He said earnestly, sticking his fist out to Blaine.

Blaine fist-bumped him and cleared his throat.

"What's the plan?" Blaine asked curiously.

"My last day of school is on Monday."

Blaine nodded.

"And then?"

Puck looked at his friend and realised just how much he'd miss him once he left.

"I hit the road on Tuesday."

Puck was wondering how he'd get through the next few days without dealing with Rachel. She'd show up eventually and he didn't think he was ready for it.

"Need a place to stay until then?" He sometimes wondered if Blaine was a mind-reader.

"Yeah man."

* * *

The two of them spent the rest of the day at the lake, hiding from the world. Puck pulled up against the curb of his house and headed inside to grab some clothes for school the next day. His mom and sister would be out of town until Tuesday. They'd get back just in time for him to say goodbye. They just didn't know it yet.

He knew she was there before he made it into his room. He could smell her perfume from the hallway even though he was sure she'd come in through the window. He breathed in deeply before opening the door and walking into his room. In his periphery he could see her sitting on his bed. She was wearing sweats and one of his t-shirts and she looked like shit. He knew without looking that she was crying. He grabbed his backpack and started throwing random clothes into it. He'd be lucky if he had grabbed a whole outfit in his haste to get the hell away from her.

"Noah." She breathed out.

His shoulders tensed but he continued to ignore her as he grabbed his toothbrush and razor. A sob filled the room when she realised that he wasn't going to give in this time. He pushed back the impulse to hold her, to make her feel better. She wasn't there for him, she was there for her. He grabbed his school books and threw them in his schoolbag and headed for the door. He heard her pleading behind him as he hurried down the stairs and out the front door. He was in his truck and speeding towards Blaine's house before he really began to breathe again.

Blaine was waiting for him on his porch. He took one look at him and led him down to the basement. Handing him a pair of boxing gloves, he left him to the punching bag as he walked back upstairs. The tears had begun to fall before he heard the door close behind Blaine. He lashed out against the bag violently as he tried to forget her sitting there on his bed in tears.

* * *

Puck woke up the next day and seriously considered staying in bed. His eyes moved around the Anderson's guest room as he thought over his options. It was his last day and he really needed to be there, if only to hand in all of his shit.

He got dressed quickly and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Blaine was sitting there with Cooper and they both nodded at him before pointing to the stove. The day was looking up as he filled his plate with eggs and bacon. He loves bacon and yeah that made him a bad Jew but he was having a hard week.

Cooper wished them both a good day, squeezing Puck's shoulder kindly before leaving the house.

"Are you ready for this?" Blaine asked without preamble.

Three years ago he would have been super pissed if a gay dude questioned his badassedness. Well he'd be pissed if anyone questioned it actually. It was something he respected about Blaine though. He'd always treated him more like Noah than Puck and he wasn't interested in bullshit and avoidance.

"No." He answered honestly "But it's just one day."

Blaine nodded silently before taking their plates and placing them in the sink.

"Let's get it over with then." Blaine replied as they headed out to their vehicles.

* * *

Puck avoided his locker that morning. He avoided the hallways altogether in fact. The halls were filled with gossip over the Finchel wedding fail # 2 and the end of the teen gay love affair. He wasn't particularly interested in either conversation topic. He also didn't feel like facing any of the glee-clubbers. He wasn't bothered when Santana found him under the bleachers just before lunch though.

"Blaine told me this is your last day." She said without greeting.

Puck nodded and waited for the yelling to come. Only it didn't.

"Then make it count. Don't spend your last day hiding under the bleachers Puckerman," She commanded with her hands on her hips. "You've ruled this school for four years. So man up and spend your last day with some dignity."

She put a hand up when he started to protest.

"I didn't say to buddy up or talk to anyone. But don't avoid the hallways. It's your last day Puck. Enjoy it." She finished quietly as she waited for his answer.

He nodded and threw and arm around her shoulder, steering her back towards the school. They walked through the hallways and he nodded at anyone who meant anything to him while he was here. They didn't need to know that he'd be gone tomorrow. He and San walked out to the courtyard and sat down at a table with Sam, Quinn, Brittany and Blaine. He realised after a few moments that lines had clearly been drawn in the sand.

Finn, Kurt and Mercedes were sitting at a table across the yard glaring over at Blaine. Puck was pleased when Mike, Artie and Tina joined his table and nodded towards Blaine. He shook his head in frustration at the division and vowed to himself to fix things for his friend before he left school today. Rachel he noticed reluctantly was nowhere to be found. He looked towards Santana and realised that she had been watching him.

"She's in the choir room." She whispered and he shrugged because really he wouldn't be doing anything with that information.

* * *

Puck's afternoon classes flew by. He stayed behind in each of the classes to thank his teachers for their patience with him over the years. His English teacher burst into tears and hugged him. He smiled when he realised that he had grown into someone that his teacher's would miss. He had always sort of thought that they would be praying for the day they'd see the last of him. His last conversation with Coach Beiste was heartfelt and they both had wet eyes as he walked out of the locker room for one last time.

After a particularly funny goodbye with Sue, Puck cleaned out his locker and nodded at some of his football buddies before making his way towards the Choir room. He had seriously considered not showing up at all. But the club had become family and he felt like they deserved a goodbye instead of showing up on Tuesday to rumours of his departure. He also needed to make things right for Blaine before he left. Pausing outside the classroom he closed his eyes and thought over all of the good times he'd had in this room. There had been a lot of bad times but he knew that going forward he'd remember more of the good than the bad. Puck had been free to be himself in this room and with these people and he was having a hard time giving it up.

He walked into the room and he realised just how late he was. Mr. Schuester had clearly been mid-speech when he interrupted him. He stood in front of the club, making no move to join them on the risers.

"Puck," Schue acknowledged him with a nod. "I was just talking over our set list for Nationals. If you'll take a seat I'd like to hear your ideas."

"No can do Mr. Schue. I was wondering if I could have the floor for a few minutes." His teacher looked hesitant. "It's important Schue."

Schuester nodded his head and sat down in the front row beside Artie. Puck looked around at his teammates and tried to figure out what to say. His eyes found Rachel but moved away quickly when pain filled his already heavy chest. He noticed understanding smiles from Santana and Blaine and took courage from their silent encouragement.

"I didn't join this club because I wanted to sing. I thought all of you were losers and I hated the idea of spending time with you." He noticed a few smiles. "But all of you changed my life in one way or another. I've grown up so much and you all get credit for the man I've become. So Thank you."

He paused as he felt himself getting choked up.

"Puck that's really nice to hear, I'm just wondering what brought this on." Schuester's eyebrows rose a little bit in understanding. "Graduation isn't for five months. You don't need to say goodbye yet Puck."

Puck shook his head and glanced over at Rachel who was staring stonily at the wall behind him. He cleared his throat and looked at all of his friends again.

"I uh actually applied for early grad; I took all of my exams last week." He paused when he heard gasps of surprise as his friends began to understand. "Today was my last day at McKinley; my last day in the Glee club. I won't be going with you guys to Nationals."

The classroom broke out into upset whispers and angry accusations. The only people who didn't seem surprised were Sam and Quinn. The two of them stood and hugged him tightly. He felt Blaine and Santana behind him as well.

"Puck. Congratulations." Schuester choked out with teary eyes.

His teacher stood and hugged him as well. He noticed the tears in his teacher's eyes and hugged him tighter.

"I'm so proud of you. We'll miss you though." Schuester said sadly as he pulled away to shush the rest of the club.

Puck's eyes fell on Kurt and he stared at the boy for a moment.

"Blaine didn't cheat on you." He announced and the classroom quieted again. "Not with me or Rachel or anyone. He is too good for you though. And if I hear about any of you treating him badly because of the breakup I'll come back to Lima and kick ass. Understand?"

Kurt glared at him but nodded his head.

"Wait. Come _back_ to Lima?" Finn asked confusedly, speaking up for the first time. "Where are you going?"

Puck looked around at his friends and then back towards Rachel. Her eyes were on him and she looked so angry that it hurt him.

"I hit the road tomorrow." More gasps. "I don't belong here, I never have."

He hugged his best friends once more before turning towards the door. His hand on the doorknob he turned back to face his friends.

"Kill it at Nationals." The tears were threatening to spill over as he prepared to leave the choir room for the very last time. "I love you guys."

He heard a few broken sobs behind him as he turned and walked out of the room. He breezed through the hallways and did his best not to cry as he headed towards the front doors. He made his way out the doors and it took everything in him not to look back.

He was leaving tomorrow and he couldn't afford to look back. He got into his truck and headed towards Blaine's house, where he knew some of his friends would join him for the night. And if it broke his heart to know that Rachel wouldn't be with them, well he'd survive it.

* * *

He packed up his truck the next day and said goodbye to his distraught mother and sister. They both knew that he needed this and did not ask him to stay. He hugged Quinn and made Sam promise to take care of his baby mama. Santana openly sobbed as she hugged him goodbye, begging him not to forget about her. He promised earnestly that she was unforgettable and that he'd call her the following week. Blaine stepped up last and smiled through his tears. He didn't say a word because he knew that they'd see each other again. Puck hugged his best friend tightly before stepping back and waving at his family.

"I love you guys."

His entourage held each other as he got into his truck. He watched them in his rear-view mirror until he turned the corner. They were his people and he was going to miss them desperately. He drove by Rachel's house, allowing himself one last look. She had apparently been expecting him as she stood on the sidewalk looking absolutely beautiful in a yellow sundress with her hair hanging loosely in curls. He didn't slow his truck as their eyes connected. Neither of them smiled as he put up a hand in goodbye before turning his attention back to the road. He didn't watch her in the rear-view because she wasn't his to miss. She never had been.

* * *

**I don't really know what else to add. Please review? Thanks!**


	2. Aftermath

**Here's part 2. I doubt it's what anyone's expecting but the idea of it kind of fascinated me. I did high school in Canada and we had 4 classes per semester, so because I know nothing about American schooling that's the model I'm following when I mention it later on in the chapter. So without further ado here's the aftermath of Puck's decision through Blaine's POV. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

Blaine listened wearily as yet another argument broke out. He was sitting in the back row beside Santana as he watched Rachel and Artie of all people screaming at each other. He looked over at Mr. Schuester and wasn't surprised to see their teacher just watching the fight tiredly. He couldn't really blame him. The man had stepped in to mediate at least one fight a day for the past three weeks.

It wasn't a coincidence that the fighting had begun the day after Puck skipped town.

It had been three weeks since his best friend had packed up his things and hit the road. The fighting had a lot to do with the fact that no one seemed willing to talk about his absence. Although Blaine thought that maybe no one realised just how Puck held them together until he was gone. A few of them still seemed to be denying the truth to themselves; resulting in even more tension in the already stormy choir room.

His eyes moved around the choir room almost methodically taking in his surroundings. The club was in turmoil. Finn and Rachel weren't speaking to each other at the moment. Finn wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed but even he knew that Rachel had something to do with Puck's sudden departure. Finn was seated beside Kurt as far away from Rachel as the seating arrangements would allow. Quinn was sitting beside Rachel in a silent display of solidarity. He had to give Q credit. She was aware of what had happened and exactly how Rachel had treated Puck but she had done her best to be a friend to the misguided girl. When he had asked her about it, she had simply said that Rachel wasn't going to grow up if no one was there to help her. Mercedes and Kurt had been fighting for days and that was probably the biggest surprise. Their fighting wasn't directly caused by Puck's absence but a result of the tension left in his wake.

Mike and Tina, along with Brittany and Santana seemed to be the only people not fighting. Although he knew that Mike and Santana were equally devastated about Puck's decision to leave. They both understood and respected it but he could tell that they missed their friend deeply.

He and Kurt had broken up the day that Puck left. Kurt had attacked him in the hallway an hour after he said goodbye to his best friend. His ex boyfriend had tried to make a scene and Blaine wasn't interested in any of it.

_Kurt stormed up to Blaine as he walked into school holding Santana's hand. The tear tracks had just barely disappeared from her face and he knew just how much she was hurting. She began to pull away as she noticed Blaine's angry boyfriend marching towards them. Blaine shook his head and held onto her fingers more tightly as Kurt stopped in front of them with a look of fury on his delicate features._

" _Where the hell have you been? What are you doing with her and why didn't you tell anyone that Puckerman planned on screwing us over?" The boy screeched, gaining the attention of the students in the hallway._

" _Don't." Blaine bit out angrily, stepping around the boy with Santana in tow._

" _Blaine Anderson! I swear to God if you walk away from me-"_

_Blaine turned on him furiously and pointed an accusing finger in his direction._

" _You'll what Kurt? Cheat on me again? You already did that." He snarled and he saw Kurt's cheeks pale. "We're done. Over. Finished. I don't know what I was thinking in the first place."_

_Santana pulled him away from the scene of the drama and into the choir room. They sat and cried, but not a single tear was for the boy in the hallway._

He was drawn from his memories as Mercedes' loud voice joined the fray obnoxiously. Rachel and Mercedes were now faced off in the front of the room screaming at each other unintelligibly.

"Enough." Blaine said quietly, his words unheard by everyone but Santana whose tired gaze fell on him.

He looked at her and she looked just as over all of this as he was. He really fucking missed his best friend right now. He would have stopped this shit before it started. Glancing over at the so called leader of the club he was further enraged to see Finn playing angry birds on his cell phone.

"Enough!" He yelled furiously, standing up and glaring at Rachel and Mercedes.

His glare darkened when Rachel and Mercedes turned on him, their argument forgotten as they united to attack him. His feet carried him down the stairs quickly and both of them back up a step.

"Both of you just shut the fuck up!" He yelled, hands balled tightly into fists.

Mercedes dropped into her chair in shock. He turned to Rachel who seemed torn between silent fury and tears.

"Just shut up." He repeated and pointed at Rachel's chair.

For a moment he thought she was going to fight him on it, and then something flashed through her eyes; fear. She sat down and he realised she was scared he'd tell everyone what she'd done.

He took a deep breath before turning to face the now silent class. He noticed Mr. Schuester staring at him in fascination before taking a seat beside Artie. Blaine glared at every single one of them before his eyes found Santana's once more. A smirk crossed her lips, though the amusement didn't touch her eyes.

"For three weeks we've been wasting our time screaming at each other over nothing. Absolutely nothing," He turned to Mercedes and Rachel. "Do you two even know what you were shrieking like banshees about? Or were you just yelling to yell?"

The two girls just stared back at him and he let out a humourless laugh.

"It's time to face facts. We can call Finn and Rachel our leaders but it's a fucking joke," His glare cut off Rachel and Finn's noises of outrage. "Our team is falling apart and where are our leaders? Rachel's been picking fights with anyone who'll take it. Finn's playing fucking angry birds." He noticed Schue nodding tensely.

He glared at his teammates and more than anything wished that Puck was here.

"Puck's gone." He noticed a few flinches, Rachel's being the most noticeable. "There I said it. He's gone and he's not coming back. None of you realised just how much he did for this club until he was gone. He's held this dramatic little group of misfits together and now we're falling apart."

Santana was nodding from the back row and Sam had a grim frown on his face.

"He's not coming back so we need to figure out how to move on without him. All of us need to figure our shit out, or our win at Regionals won't mean anything. We won't make it to Nationals like this. It's been three fucking weeks and we don't even have a song for our set list. We've spent all of our practices screaming at each other or watching the fights."

"He's not coming back," Blaine repeated tiredly, wiping the tears out of his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Why did he leave in the first place? He said the early grad thing but why-" Finn started.

"It's none of your goddamned business Jackass." Santana snarled.

"It doesn't matter why he left." Blaine said quickly, doing his best to stop another fight from happening. "He's gone, so let's figure out how to make this club work without him."

He glanced at Mr. Schuester and his teacher nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"Everybody go home and deal with your crap. No more screaming matches in the choir room. If you need to yell at someone, do it elsewhere." His eyes scanned the room and felt relief when he received more than a few nods. "When you show up tomorrow you'd better have at least one idea for Nationals that doesn't feature yourself as a solo."

"But-" Rachel's words were cut off by Blaine's snarl.

The club realised they had been dismissed by their new leader and began to disperse quietly. As he watched them leave he tiredly threw himself into a chair in the front row and buried his head in his hands. He felt Santana's hand running over his hair gently as she took a seat next to him. He heard Sam and Quinn's gentle goodbyes as they left the room hand in hand.

"I'm proud of you," San said quietly. "Puck would be too."

He lifted his head and noticed that only he, Santana and Mr. Schuester were in the room. He glanced up at his teacher as he grabbed a chair and placed it a few feet in front of Blaine. He watched as his teacher tiredly took a seat across from him and leaned forward. He was half-expecting a lecture for the language he had used. He felt San tense beside him and she was clearly expecting the same thing.

"Thank you."

Blaine was too surprised to reply as he watched the choir director scrub a hand over his face.

"I haven't known what to say these past few weeks. Everything is such a mess. Puck has always held this team together. He rolled up his sleeves and did the work, always allowing Rachel and Finn the spotlight. I asked him about it last year and he said that things worked better that way," Schue's voice broke slightly before he continued. "I was too shocked and upset that he was leaving us early to really prepare for any of this. It doesn't surprise me in any way but I guess I was too focused on how much I'd miss him that I forgot to worry about how everyone else would react."

Blaine and Santana nodded as their teacher spoke.

"The two of you have been so open about how much you miss him. The others," Schuester paused as he thought over his next words. "The others are pretending that nothing's changed. But everything has changed and none of them are handling it very well."

"This sucks." Santana muttered, her fingers tangling with his own.

"I know that the two of you are having a hard time. But I would like you to consider taking over as Glee captains," He put up his hand as Santana began to protest. "It's clear that Finn isn't interested in leading without Puck in the background taking care of things. And Rachel is more deeply involved in Puck's decision to leave than anyone is willing to admit. Her judgement has been compromised and her priorities are out of whack."

Santana and Blaine exchanged a surprised glance. Mr. Schuester was apparently more perceptive than anyone had given him credit for.

"Blaine you stepped up and made them listen for the first time in three weeks. You told them how to act and what to do and they listened. Whenever you lost your focus or nerve you looked to Santana and she provided the support you needed to continue," He glanced between the two teens hopefully."I hope you'll consider it. You were right; we won't make Nationals like this. But we can if you two takeover. Just think about it."

Blaine just nodded as his teacher clapped a hand on his shoulder and left the room.

* * *

Blaine walked through the front door of his house tiredly. As he dropped his bag by the door he was thankful to note that no one else was home. Bypassing the kitchen despite his hunger, he dragged himself up the stairs. Slamming the door behind him, he threw himself face first on the bed.

He was playing basketball with Puck and Sam in the auditorium when his phone woke him. His fingers fished his phone from his pocket as he wiped the drool off his chin.

"'Lo?" He answered sleepily as he rolled over onto his back.

He heard a familiar chuckle and opened his eyes in surprise. His room was dark so he must have slept for longer than he'd thought.

"Hey man. You sleeping?" Puck asked in amusement.

"Not anymore. What's up Puck?" Blaine asked, rubbing a hand over his scruffy cheeks.

"San called me. Said things haven't been great. Thought I should give you a call." Puck answered, his voice hinting his concern.

Blaine closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair as he thought over his answer.

"Don't edit." Puck added causing Blaine to smile.

"Everything has sort of fallen apart. They've all been fighting, every single practice since-" Blaine trailed off.

"Since I left." Puck finished grimly.

"Yeah. But don't take the blame on this one. We're a fucked up little band of misfits. It's not your fault that no one realised you kept us working together until after you graduated." Blaine insisted, hearing Puck's chuckle. "None of them are even sure what they're fighting about. So today after the third or fourth argument over fucking nothing I started yelling."

"Awesome."

"I told them all to shut the fuck up and figure their shit out." Blaine smiled as Puck laughed. "I also told them to stop fighting and show up tomorrow with song ideas that they don't star in."

"Way to goooo Mr. Anderson." Puck shouted with a laugh.

"It got weirder. Schue asked San and I to take over as Glee captains."

Puck whistled through his teeth and Blaine nodded before remembering that his friend couldn't see him.

"I know, right."

"I bet _Finchel_ is gonna lovvvvve that." Puck replied.

Blaine ignored the way that Puck stumbled over the portmanteau. He knew better than to mention it.

"No one knows." Blaine answered. "I haven't decided yet."

"Yes you have," Puck replied. "You wouldn't have mentioned it if you weren't going to do it. And you should."

Blaine sighed when he realised that Puck was right.

"Things must be bad if Schuester wants you to take over from-"

"Yeah," Blaine interrupted, saving Puck from having to say their names again. "He plays angry birds during the fights. And she, she's the one picking all of the fights."

"I see." Puck said thoughtfully.

The two boys sat in silence for a few moments until Puck began speaking.

"Things will get better Blaine. You're the leader they need and San brings something different to the table. The club was yours next year anyways. Might as well step up and lead them a year early."

"Schuester said today that you were always the leader. He said that you rolled up your sleeves and did the work, letting the others take credit. I just thought you'd like to know." Blaine admitted.

"Thanks. I'm sorry that everything sucks right now."

"Tell me about your life." Blaine instructed, feeling better after having ranted to his friend.

Blaine laid back with a grin on his face as Puck told him all about the music scene in Nashville.

"How long do you plan on staying there?" Blaine asked curiously.

"I don't know. I'm working at a barbeque right now. Bussing and cleaning dishes pays pretty well. The food here is crazy good and the music is pretty off the hook. It's all a little too country for me but I'm thinking about kickin' it here 'til the summer."

Blaine admired his friend's resourcefulness. He'd walked into a restaurant his second day in the city and walked out with a well paying job. He slept in his car to save money and he was picking up extra cash playing music gigs around town.

Puck also hadn't had any idea where he was going when he left Ohio three weeks ago. He just jumped on the highway and drove until he found somewhere he felt like stopping. Blaine wasn't sure that he would be able to just leave home with no idea where he was going.

"Then where?" Blaine asked, intrigued by his friend's adventures.

"Actually I've been thinking about New Orleans," Blaine laughed because it seemed like a perfect fit. "I've always wanted to go and everything about it sounds amazing. The food, the music. The women."

Puck's voice took on a lascivious tone, though it sounded a bit forced. Both of them knew that any woman he met would pale in comparison to Rachel.

"Sounds like a great fit man. I might just join you for the summer." Blaine announced.

* * *

Glee club the next day was tense. Blaine walked in a moment before the bell and noticed that there hadn't been any fighting yet. He'd count that one as a win. He wasn't expecting the peace to last long after Mr. Schuester's little announcement.

"Hey guys, I'd like your attention for a few moments." Schue said as he walked into the room, sitting on a stool in front of them.

"Things have gotten out of hand in the past few weeks. I know that Puck's early graduation has thrown us all for a loop but it's time to move past it. Puck has been a silent leader in this club and we need to figure out how to continue without his leadership." Schuester took a breath as if preparing himself for the next part. "The leaders within this group have either sat back or taken part in the fighting. None of you have stepped up and tried to fix things. I'm the teacher but I can only do so much,"

"I have decided that things need to change. Rachel and Finn will no longer be the team captains of Glee." He announced assertively.

The room exploded with the reactions of the various club members. Blaine could hear noises of relief from Sam and Artie. He noticed that Mike and Tina were quietly whispering and neither of them seemed upset about it. Finn was yelling at his mentor and Rachel was working herself up for a real tantrum if Blaine was reading the signs correctly.

"Schue, who's taking over?" Mercedes yelled over the madness, eyes gleaming with gossip possibilities.

"Blaine and Santana." Mr. Schuester said wearily.

The room went silent and all eyes moved to Blaine and Santana in the front row. Blaine's eyes were on Rachel's and the countdown began. 4, 3, 2, 1...

"You have got to be kidding me!" She shrieked, jumping to her feet and pointing her finger at Blaine. "He's a junior! He's not even graduating this year!"

Blaine felt his temper fighting to rear its ugly head as he stood and faced her.

"Yeah, well if you were willing to put the club first than we wouldn't need to switch captains." Blaine answered coolly.

"What does that even mean?" Rachel yelled back, her face turning an unattractive shade of red.

"Maybe you should spend more time picking songs than picking fights Berry." Santana replied for Blaine, standing next to him. "Thinking about other people's feelings might not hurt either, _puta._ " She muttered under her breath, although Rachel's narrowed eyes implied that she'd heard her clearly.

Rachel stomped her foot and let out a shriek of rage.

"This isn't fair! It's my last year; you can't take the captaincy away from me!" She yelled.

Blaine stared at her coldly before responding.

"Maybe you should have thought about that before now. You did this all by yourself Princess." Blaine's eyes never left hers and he saw her rage turning into hurt.

He watched as her eyes swept the classroom; looking for support. He thought for a moment that Kurt would help her just to spite him but the boy didn't say a thing. Finn was on his phone once more.

"I still get the solo." She huffed out angrily.

"Earn it." Blaine challenged, raising his chin slightly and he heard a whistle of surprise from the group.

The two of them stood in a silent faceoff until Blaine dismissed her by addressing the group.

"I asked you all to have a song idea for today. The only rule was that it couldn't feature you as a soloist," He saw Rachel sit down with a huff in his periphery.

He glanced around the room and saw more than a few blank faces.

"Anyone who doesn't have a song idea can go." He saw Schuester hide a smile. "All I asked for was one song. If you didn't bother looking for one than go home. Come back when you care enough to be here."

He fought a wave of frustration as he watched more than half the club walk out sheepishly. His anger peaked as he watched Rachel storm out as well. As the door closed behind Mercedes he turned to face the remaining group. He pulled chairs down from the risers and placed them in a semi-circle, taking a seat and motioning for the group to do the same.

"Artie?" He asked as the boy rolled to a stop next to him.

"I was thinking that maybe we could have one of the girl's sing 'If I die young' by the Band Perry. I also thought that maybe the guys could sing 'Viva la Vida'."

Blaine nodded as the songs played through his head.

"I like it. Tina could you prepare a solo of 'If I die young'? And Artie I'd like to see an arrangement of Viva la Vida with at least four parts." He smiled when they nodded, the excitement on Tina's face apparent as Mike squeezed her hand.

"Quinn?"

"I heard this really great cover on American Idol that I thought you could try. Piano man? Colton Dixon sang it and I can send you the video link."

"Awesome, I'll try it out after school. Sam?"

"I like this song by Anna Nalick called "Breathe". I thought San could rock it for the solo."

Blaine glanced at Santana and she was nodding along.

"I love that song. I'll have it prepared for tomorrow."

He smiled at his co-captain and snuck a glance at Mr. Schuester. He looked relieved and less weary for the first time in a while.

"Mike?"

"Tina and I watched 'Footloose' the other night and Blake Shelton does a great version of the cover song. We all have cowboy costumes and Brittany and I could choreograph. My first thought was Puck, but Sam's voice is great for it too."

"Hmm maybe San and I could get together with you and Britt this weekend and play around with it. Tina?"

"I was thinking that maybe you could sing 'Cough Syrup' by Young the Giant. There's also this band called 'Pentatonix' and they do acapella versions of different songs. They do a five part 'Somebody that I used to know.' I was thinking that Mike, Sam, Artie, Rachel and you could try it out."

Blaine had a soft spot for that song and he'd actually heard the version she was talking about. It was risky because of the musical complexity, but if they could make it work they'd have Nationals in the bag.

"I love it. I'll write out the five parts tonight. That's an incredible idea Tina. We could take Nationals with that song."

"I was thinking that we could sing 'Tonight Tonight' by Hot Chelle Rae for our group song." Brittany added.

"Great idea Brit. San you've got all this down?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah," She showed him the list on her cell phone. "I like 'Terrified' by Katharine McPhee and Zachary Levi. I was thinking that you and Rachel could sing it. There's also this great version of 'Use Somebody' by Haley Williams but I don't know who'd sing it."

"Excellent, I like 'Life is a highway' as the group number. Everyone could solo a bit if we wanted. I'd like for Rachel to sing 'Fallen' by Sarah McLachlan."

"I thought you said that she had to earn it?" Santana questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"She does. It's the perfect song for her to sing once she steps away from all of the bullshit," His eyes met San's and she nodded in agreement. "It's just an idea. Schue you want to add anything?"

"No, I think you guys have a lot of great ideas. Why don't I dismiss early and you go home to work on them?" His teacher said excitedly.

The group nodded and gathered their things. Mr. Schuester pulled Blaine and Santana aside as the others left the room.

"That went well guys. I'm proud of you."

Mr Schuester smiled at them and left the two of them to their thoughts.

* * *

The next few months passed quickly. Everyone had shown up the next day with workable song ideas and the team began to function together once more.

Between long practices and school work Blaine found summer quickly approaching. He had settled into his leadership role easily. Santana insisted on having a Puck-like role in the background and they worked well together. Rachel and Finn had come around fairly quickly. Finn still scowled darkly in his direction but Blaine didn't care all that much. Rachel had cornered him a few days after the announcement and they had finally talked things out.

" _Blaine." Rachel's voice halted his exit from the choir room._

_Blaine turned to face Rachel and did his best to control his emotions. He was now their leader so he needed to act responsibly and not emotionally. Unfortunately Rachel was the reason that his best friend was currently in Nashville with a broken heart, making the whole thing much more difficult._

" _I was wondering if perhaps we could talk. We haven't really since," Rachel bit her lip and looked away. "Since_ he _left."_

_Blaine nodded and moved to a seat at the front of the room. Rachel stood in front of him twisting her fingers anxiously._

" _How do you want to do this Rachel? Are we talking as fellow glee clubbers? Or are we talking as two people who were friends until you broke my best friend's heart?" He did his best to speak without anger, but her step back and gasp told him he hadn't succeeded. "Because those are two very different conversations."_

_Rachel stared at him tearfully and he was surprised when he didn't feel the urge to comfort her._

" _I suppose we should have both conversations."_

" _Fine. As your former friend I have to say that you really fucked everything up Rachel," She flinched slightly but didn't interrupt him. "You used the love of a great man against him and twisted it for your own selfish needs. You hurt my best friend to the point where he left town. This is Puck we're talking about; he had to work his ass off for early graduation. He was taking 7 courses last semester Rachel; just so that he could get away from your bullshit as fast as he could."_

" _Do you hate me?" Rachel asked after a few moments of silence._

" _Sometimes. I hate this you," She looked at him in confusion. "I hate the Rachel who was willing to give up everything for a boy she doesn't properly love. I hate the Rachel who fucked my best friend every night just to feel something but was too cowardly to choose him. I hate the Rachel who chased my best friend out of town. I hate the Rachel who caused turmoil every day for the last three weeks because she was too proud to admit that she was wrong. I hate the entitled, spoiled princess standing in front of me."_

" _So you do hate me then." ._

" _No. I hate the you that you've become Rachel. Because the girl I met last year wasn't any of the things I just described. She was strong and loyal. She was exciting and funny. She was kind and did her best to curb her selfishness. The girl that Puck fell in love with. I don't hate that girl; I'm just not sure that she exists anymore. Puck seemed to think she does though, it's the only reason he let you do what you did to him. He was sure that she was still in there somewhere under all of the bullshit." Her eyes were shining with tears but he could tell that she was really listening. "Find that girl again Rach. You find that girl because she was one in a million."_

_The two of them stared at each other and he knew that the two of them would be okay eventually. He could forgive Rachel for anything; she just needed to be Rachel again._

" _As your Glee captain; you need to do the same thing. I need you to put others first and to really work for everything you're given. Stop being a brat and work for it. Leave the drama at the door as well." He started towards the door before turning back with one last thought. "And I don't want to see that lovey-dovey shit with you and Finn. It's inappropriate and unprofessional in the choir room. And as Puck's best friend I honestly just can't watch it."_

_He heard her small noise of assent as he walked away from her._

* * *

He lived for his phone calls with Puck. His friend was really starting to enjoy his life away from Lima. There was always an undertone of sadness that popped up when they talked about the Glee club and when they talked around Rachel's existence. But as he described the music and the people that he had met Blaine could tell that the broken man who had left was starting to heal.

The two of them had begun to make plans for the summer. Puck would come back to Lima for a night to see his family and the two of them would set out for the summer. The final destination was New Orleans but they were excited about all of the stops on the way there. Puck already had a list of places in Nashville that he wanted Blaine to experience.

He missed having his friend around; fight club had definitely lost some of its edge. But the almost nightly phone calls helped cover the distance in a way that surprised him. Puck was also great for bouncing ideas of off for Glee. He had agreed wholeheartedly with the cover of 'Somebody that I used to know' by the boys, expressing disappointment that he wouldn't be there to sing it with them.

"That sounds sick dude. The video rocked my world. Who's singing it with you?" Puck asked as Blaine told him the set list.

"Sammy's taking the first solo; I've got the chorus and the melody. Rachel's got the second verse and the harmony. Artie and Mike are layering the vocal percussion and Joe is taking the bass." Blaine explained and he was really excited about it.

"Joe? Teen Jesus? That's sick dude."

* * *

They had a week left and practices were getting stressful. It was the last year for most of the club and more than anything they wanted Nationals. Blaine and Santana had managed to get the group back on track. Rachel had taken their conversation to heart and she was much like her old self to the glee (pun intended) of the group.

Gone were the days of last minute song writing and preparation. The set list had been decided on two months before the competition and they were feeling good about their choices. Blaine was only worried about one song. He and Santana spent a few days trying to work around it but after practice one day he decided to pull Rachel aside. The two of them sat on the edge of the stage as the rest of the club went home for the night.

"Rach, I need you to feel it." Blaine said without hesitation, now wasn't the time to coddle her.

"I'm trying it's just that-"

"No. You're singing beautifully. You always do Rachel. But I need you to _feel_ it," Her eyes widened as he pleaded with her. "I know you don't want to deal with what happened. I get it. But this song is it. If you dig deep and feel it and really understand the lyrics than we have this thing in the bag. If you can't do that then we'll go with another soloist."

Her eyes narrowed at the mention of her solo being taken away.

"I'm not asking you to make a life change Rachel. Can we agree that you made a lot of mistakes?" She nodded. "And can we agree that we all lost a lot because of those mistakes?" Another sad nod. "Then sing it. The lyrics aren't 'I screwed up, I chose wrong, take me back.' It's just a song about making a mistake, making a lot of mistakes and having to face the consequences."

He watched the next day in awe as she felt it. The whole club was silent when she finished because it was powerful and they were going to win because of it.

* * *

Blaine stood backstage with the rest of New Directions. Mr. Schuester joined them and wished them luck before Blaine stepped forward.

"The last five months haven't been easy. Everything changed but we adapted, we grew. This is it guys. This is what we've all been working our asses off for the last four months. We have a real shot at this thing if we do it together. Every single one of you is talented, but that doesn't matter. What matters is what we are when we're united. There isn't a single group that can beat us if we go out there together. This is our last performance all together. Let's do this thing!" Blaine finished with a smile and the group hurried off to the mirrors to check their appearances one last time.

He had considered telling them that Puck was there, sitting in the second row but he didn't want to distract them. He couldn't afford to distract Rachel. He knew that she'd probably notice him during her performance but he knew that she could continue flawlessly. If she knew beforehand than she would worry and psyche herself out.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket as the lights dimmed.

**Puck: Good Luck.**

He was worried that he'd need it as Rachel stepped from behind the curtain and towards the crowd. He moved to his mark side stage as the opening notes of 'Fallen' began to play. He could see Puck from where he was standing so he knew it was only a matter of time before Rachel noticed him.

She was just about to take the first chorus when she saw him. He noticed her breath hitch slightly and tears fill her eyes, but the audience was too enraptured by her voice to think anything of it. She hit the chorus with so much emotion that he could see people in the crowd openly bawling.

 **Though I've tried, I've fallen...**  
I have sunk so low  
I messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...

His eyes left Rachel and settled on his best friend as her haunting voice carried through the second verse. Puck seemed torn between running out and staring at her forever. He had told Puck that he didn't need to come but his friend had insisted. He had said that he wouldn't miss Nationals for the world. The fact that Nationals had been held in Nashville was just too convenient to miss, he'd said.

 **Heaven bend to take my hand**  
Nowhere left to turn  
I'm lost to those I thought were friends  
To everyone I know  
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed  
Pretend that they don't see  
But it's one missed step  
One slip before you know it  
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

 **Though I've tried, I've fallen...**  
I have sunk so low  
I messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...

He watched as Puck blew out a breath of relief as the audience jumped to their feet with a roar of approval. He had picked the song for Rachel before Puck had announced his intention of attending the performance. The song was just too perfect to change. A smile found Puck's face as Blaine, Sam, Mike, Artie and Joe joined Rachel on stage. The smile widened when the six of them joined in together without any music. He knew that the musician in Puck would love the arrangement.

**La dad a dada da de da de dad a dada de dad a Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh**

Sam started the first verse and his voice was pitched perfect. The group had watched the video obsessively to make sure they had it down.

 **Now and then I think of when we were together**  
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die  
Told myself that you were right for me  
But felt so lonely in your company  
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

The six of them jumped and Blaine took the chorus strongly. The rest of New Directions danced behind them in a dance that Mike and Brittany had spent days choreographing.

 **But you didn't have to cut me off**  
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing  
And I don't even need your love  
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough  
No you didn't have to stoop so low  
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number  
I guess that I don't need that though  
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Rachel and Sam joined him and they harmonized with the bass and percussion.

**Now you're just somebody that I used to know  
Now you're just somebody that I used to know**

Rachel stepped forward slightly and took the second verse. She had learned the part and she knew it well. Her voice was haunting once more as she reluctantly sang Puck's feelings.

**Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over  
Part of me believing it was always something that I'd done**

Blaine and Sam jumped in to join her again.

 **But I don't wanna live that way**  
Reading into every word you say  
You said that you could let it go  
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

Blaine came back in for the chorus just as Brittany and Santana nailed back flips. Artie and Mike were just killing the percussion.

 **But you didn't have to cut me off**  
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing  
And I don't even need your love  
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough  
And you didn't have to stoop so low  
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number  
I guess that I don't need that though  
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Joe stepped forward and the others went silent.

**Now you're just somebody that I used to know**

Puck was the first person on his feet as the crowd once again went wild. Blaine could see the looks on the judge's faces and he knew they had it. They could skip the next song and it would still be theirs.

Santana and Blaine led the group through 'Life is a Highway' and the applause at the end was deafening.

When they were ushered back onto stage three hours later with the top ten none of them had any doubt that they had won.

Knowing it beforehand didn't take away from the sweetness of victory. As Blaine raised the first place trophy over his head he pointed at Puck in the audience who was standing on a chair yelling excitedly. He may not have performed with them but this victory was as much his as anyone else's.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed it. I have an idea for where to take this story if people want me to continue it. Let me know, thanks!


	3. Graduation

**Sorry it's taken so long, I forgot I had another chapter written. Life gets too busy sometimes. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

The club grabbed their things and headed towards the lobby to celebrate. Blaine heard a shout of surprise followed by a series of 'Puck!'s as he followed them out of the auditorium. He watched in amusement as Santana threw herself into Puck's waiting arms. He heard what sounded like a sob before she kissed him firmly on the lips. Santana had just stepped back when Quinn threw herself at him with a cry of joy.

"I've missed you!" She said with a kiss to his cheek.

"I miss you too Babymama. Sammy been taking care of ya?" Puck asked with a look at his blonde friend.

Sam simply nodded before stepping forward for a bro-hug.

"It's good to see you man. You catch the performance?"

Puck laughed when Tina and Mike stepped up for hugs.

"Yeah man!" He answered over Tina's head. "The Pentatonix's cover was sick. You killed the solo and the vocal dynamics were fucking perfect!"

Blaine watched as Mr. Schuester and Puck greeted each other amidst the chatter. He noticed that Rachel was standing at the back of the group looking a little lost.

"Where the fuck is Blaine?" Puck bellowed after Finn, Kurt and Mercedes greeted him coolly.

Blaine laughed and walked forwards.

"Get over here you talented prick!" Puck yelled obnoxiously, pulling Blaine into a hug.

Blaine pulled back and laughed as Puck raved about their A Capella number. He realised that Puck's greeting of everyone but Rachel hadn't been as subtle as he'd probably hoped.

"You guys are here for the night right? I can get us a few tables at the Barbeque where I work. The food is fucking amazing." Puck announced as he pulled Blaine out the door, the rest of the group following somewhat awestruck. Puck had changed so much in the time he'd been gone and his enthusiasm was surprising for those who didn't talk to him regularly.

"You live here?" Rachel's voice cut through the crowd and Blaine could see the tension in Puck's neck and jaw.

"Yeah he's been here since he left." Santana answered quickly.

The group decided to head back to their hotel rooms and change for dinner. Blaine decided to stay with Puck for the afternoon and promised to meet them at the Barbeque later that evening.

Pucks spent the afternoon dragging him around to as many of his favourite haunts as he could fit in. He dragged him to the Parthenon which Blaine thought might be the coolest thing he'd ever seen. The two of them took a bunch of ridiculous pictures before heading to Puck's place of work.

"How are you doing with being around Rachel?" Blaine asked as Puck drove.

"I dunno. It's weird. The song was well it kind of sucked. She's still kind of perfect ya know? I mean she might not be the person I fell in love with, but she still looks like her." Puck explained and Blaine nodded.

* * *

Dinner was less awkward than Blaine had expected. Rachel and Puck sat as far from each other as physically possible. Finn was sitting next to Schuester and Blaine suspected that his teacher had done it on purpose, keeping Finn equally away from both. Puck entertained the group with stories of his time in Nashville and they spent more time laughing than eating.

"Any big plans for the summer Puck?" Mr. Schuester asked after they had been served their dinner.

"Yeah man. I'm heading back to Lima for a day and then Blaine and I are hitting the road for the summer." Puck answered enthusiastically before biting into one of his chicken wings.

"Oh? Where are you planning on going? You're able to take the whole summer off?" Mr. Schuester asked curiously.

Puck laughed and reached for a napkin.

"Endgame is New Orleans but we have a whole summer to get there. Don't worry I'll have Blaine back for school in September," Puck laughed along with his old teacher. "As for the job, I put in my two week's notice last night. I'll leave the day I finish."

"Where are you living?" Joe asked curiously.

"My truck." Puck laughed and Blaine joined him.

"Really? That's awesome dude." Joe answered with wide eyes and Blaine knew he'd love to do something like that.

"Yeah, I didn't really want to put roots in anywhere yet. Nashville is awesome but it's just stop number one you know?" Puck grinned at the wide eyes of everyone at the table. "I always wanted to travel and I'm willing to work. So I stayed here for awhile and then after the summer who knows? I'm too young to settle down anywhere. Also you make a lot of dough when you're only expenses are insurance, gas and food. I've made a ton of cash here."

"That sounds really exciting Puck." Mr. Schuester replied. "It's so great that you're enjoying your time here. This life isn't for everyone but it certainly suits you. And this food is absolutely delicious. You get to eat here for free?"

Puck laughed and nodded. Blaine was happy to see his friend so carefree. Rachel hadn't said anything but he had a hard time feeling bad for her in this situation.

* * *

Saying goodbye the next day had been hard for Blaine despite the promise of only a two week separation this time around. Puck had spent the night celebrating with the group before stealing Blaine away for an early morning breakfast. Blaine could tell that Schuester was on the verge of panicking when Puck's truck pulled into the parking lot minutes before the bus left. As Puck had stepped onto the bus for a final goodbye the bus had quieted. Blaine noticed Rachel desperately trying to catch Puck's eye to no avail.

"See you losers another time!" Puck yelled out, dropping a peace sign and walking off the bus.

Blaine took his seat behind Rachel and plugged in his IPod. He did his best to ignore the silent tears streaming down her face as she watched Puck's truck disappear from sight. The ring had yet to disappear from her left hand.

* * *

Graduation happened four days after Nationals. Blaine attended the ceremony to support his friends. Sitting with Tina, Artie, Sam, Joe and Brittany, they did their best to control the emotions as they waited for their friends to leave them to start their new lives. Blaine cheered loudly as Quinn took the stage as Valedictorian. A proud smile adorned his face as he listened to her speech.

"It amazes me that our high school careers have finally come to a close. I am so very honoured to stand here as your valedictorian. We have been through so much together. We haven't always been united, torn apart by slushy facials and popularity wars. I stand in front of you today amazed at how far we've all come. Is there a single person here today that is the same person who entered high school just five years ago? Are you friends with the same people?" Quinn smiled brightly. "High school is the perfect place to find yourself, to make mistakes. Take the lessons we've learned here and continue to grow. High school was just the beginning. We have the rest of our lives to figure it all out. I wish all of you the very best in your future endeavors."

The crowd began to clap wildly as Figgins started to call up each grad to accept their diplomas. Blaine had noticed Quinn's eyes fall to Rachel several times during her speech and he commended her for trying to get through to her friend until the very end.

"Rachel Berry!" Blaine and the rest of his friends cheered loudly.

"Michael Chang!"

"Quinn Fabray!"

"Finn Hudson!"

"Kurt Hummel!"

"Mercedes Jones!"

"Santana Lopez!" Blaine whistled loudly for his friend.

"Noah Puckerman!"

Blaine and his friends jumped to their feet, along with the rest of the seniors as Puck hopped on the stage with a smirk. The crowd howled in surprise and excitement as Mr. Figgins handed Puck his diploma. Blaine stood on his chair and clapped the hardest, surprised to see his friend.

Mr. Figgins announced the end of the graduation ceremony and the caps were thrown.

Blaine and his friends searched the crowd for their grads. He nodded towards Kurt and Finn before heading over to Santana. She was in the process of hugging a crying Rachel, with tears of her own as they congratulated each other. They pulled apart in time for Brittany to launch herself at her girlfriend. Blaine hugged Rachel quickly.

"Congratulations." He said quietly.

Rachel's eyes filled once more. She shook her head sadly and scuffed her shoe against the ground.

"I've made so many mistakes. But this isn't Vegas and they'll follow me everywhere I go." She whispered as Blaine noticed Puck standing a few feet behind her.

"I think that you'll find that no mistake is too big to be forgiven eventually, Rach," Blaine replied as Puck got closer. "Maybe once you start to live the life you've always wanted things will get better. Be Rachel Berry again."

Rachel opened her mouth to reply as Puck stepped awkwardly into view. Blaine diffused the tension quickly by poking him in the chest.

"You! You said you weren't doing the ceremony!" He accused with a laugh.

"I figured someone would need to amp up the excitement for everybody." Puck answered with a shrug and sparkling eyes. "Who better to give this shindig some life than me?"

Rachel seemed to be having a mental struggle. She seemed torn between leaving them alone and saying something to Puck. Blaine knew that Puck noticed as well. His friend sighed quietly before turning to face Rachel for the first time in six months.

"Congratulations." He said tightly, fighting to keep his eyes on hers.

Rachel gasped in surprise before launching herself into his arms. Blaine watched as Puck tensely held her for a moment before she stepped back awkwardly. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear nervously and cleared her throat.

"Um, you too." She replied shakily.

Puck nodded jerkily and turned away from them. Rachel's mouth opened and closed a few times as Puck began to walk away.

"I'm sorry!" The words fell out of her mouth and both she and Blaine held their breath.

Puck's shoulders tensed as his feet stopped moving. He stood there for a moment before looking at her over his shoulder. His eyes searched hers for a moment before nodding slightly and walking away.

"But-" Rachel gasped to Blaine.

"Rach," Blaine placed a hand gently on her shoulder. "He's not there yet. He might never be-"

"But you said that nothing was too big to forgive!" She accused as he shook his head.

"I said eventually he might forgive you. I didn't say that he'd ever be able to talk to you again," He looked at her sadly. "You broke him. There is no way to undo that. He's healing but he's not the guy who loved you. Just like you stopped being the girl he loved."

Rachel's eyes widened and then filled with tears. He reluctantly pulled her into his arms.

"It's time to leave this town behind Rachel. Go to New York and start your life," He whispered against her hair. "If you two are meant to be together or see each other again than you will. It's time to move on."

He pulled away from her and smiled sadly before promising to say goodbye before she left for New York.

* * *

He found Puck sitting at the piano in the choir room. Sitting down beside him, Blaine bumped him with his shoulder.

"Couldn't resist huh?"

Puck's fingers began to move against the keys as he thought over his answer.

"Seeing her sucks. Her throwing herself on me wasn't great either," Puck admitted. "I needed space and I was here before I actually decided where to go."

Blaine nodded simply and watched as his friend played one of his songs.

"So Graduation?" Blaine asked with a smile.

"Ha, yeah I couldn't resist. I actually put in my notice a little earlier than I said so I could at least be here for it. But then I figured why the hell wouldn't I walk the stage if I was already here?"

Blaine laughed as they left the choir room behind and went looking for Puck's proud mama.

* * *

Blaine headed to the grad party that Santana was throwing for the Seniors that night. Puck decided to stay home with his family so that they could hit the road the next day.

The party was in full swing by the time that he arrived. He ignored Kurt's puppy eyes as he headed to the kitchen. Santana was sitting on the counter talking to Sam about summer plans. She handed him a drink after dropping a kiss to his temple. She didn't ask about Puck, so he assumed that his friend had declined the party personally.

He spent the night saying goodbye to his friends. He and Rachel danced once or twice before she was swept away by a very jealous Finn. He didn't drink much, deciding that a road trip would be less awesome with a hangover. He made the rounds to say his final goodbyes after decided to cut out early to pack.

He found her sitting outside beside San's pool, with her legs in the water. Grateful for his shorts, he sat beside her and sighed as the cool water chilled his overly warm body. She turned towards him for a moment and studied him as he watched her.

"Sorry about earlier." She said timidly.

He didn't ask what she meant, he knew she was apologizing for her bumbling jackass of a fiancé. He blames the tiny amount of alcohol he'd consumed for asking why she was actually with him. She looked scandalized for a moment before the fire left her eyes and she shrugged.

"I feel like I've worked almost as hard to get him as I have for Broadway. Why would I give that up after all my hard work?" She asked and he could tell that even she didn't believe her answer.

"Does he make you happy?"

"He used to. He could again I think." She replied, unsure.

He thought over his next question carefully before asking it.

"What about Puck?"

Her eyes widened and searched his face before she answered him.

"Noah...set me on fire. Every touch, every glance just rocked me to my core. And that was before we slept together," She admitted shifting uncomfortably. "There's always been a pull between the two of us. He was always there when Finn should have been. I was always tempted by him and one day after a particularly nasty fight with Finn I gave in. I kissed him and then we were naked. I should have stopped but I didn't. Because I'd always wondered, always wanted to know,"

She stared at her toes in the water as she avoided his gaze.

"I always wondered if he loved me. He was so much more than Finn, the way he treated me so much better. So we slept together and he made me feel special. Special in a way that I've only ever felt on stage. I felt guilt for betraying Finn but I couldn't find it in myself to stop it. I needed him and that high only he could give me. I should have left Finn. I know that now, and I knew it then."

"Why didn't you?"

"Finn is safe. He loves me in a very innocent way. He might not share my dreams and that's a struggle we can't seem to get past," She took a deep breath. "Noah loves me in a way that can't be tamed. The thing we had was all-consuming and too powerful. It scared me because I knew how much I was hurting him. Finn is content with part of me. Being with Noah for real would require all of me. Because that's what he's always given me. All of him, every single piece of him was mine."

"Rach, that sounds amazing." Blaine replied honestly. "That's the kind of love that people dream about. Why settle?"

Rachel's eyes were wet when she turned to face him.

"What does it matter now? I can't have Noah. I-I fucked it all up. You said so yourself."

"Rach. That's not a good enough reason to be with Finn." Blaine took her hand gently. "That kind of thinking will only hurt everyone. You shouldn't be with Finn just because you can't be with Puck."

Rachel's eyes widened and she looked away from him in shame. Realising that he needed to leave, he pulled his legs out of the pool.

"I love you a lot Rachel. And sometimes I think you're almost you again." He kissed her forehead and got to his feet. "I leave tomorrow morning. Please think about what I said. We both know you should be leaving for New York by yourself this summer. Goodbye Rach, I'll see you around."

He heard her whispered goodbye as he walked around the house and towards his home.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know please! Thanks!**


	4. Coco Chanel? Screw You Dude

**How much do I love my readers for your patience? I just updated SC but unlike that story, I actually have inspiration and ideas of where I'd like to take this one. So hopefully there will be semi-regular updates. There's a Puck/OC smut part at the beginning (The deleted scene form chapter 4) so skip it if you don't like. I hope you enjoy because I love this chapter.**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

Blaine laughed heartily as he watched Puck do shots off the chest of an attractive blonde waitress. He shook his head in amusement at the obvious lust in the eyes of the woman sitting at the table next to him. She was beautiful but Blaine had only ever been tempted by one woman; one girl, really. The beautiful dark man next to her was definitely more his type. If the glances in his direction were any indication then he'd say that the feeling was mutual.

"Blaine!" Puck bellowed as he returned to the table with beers.

Blaine raised his bottle to his friend and took a swig.

"I'm gonna fuck her." He announced and Blaine raised his bottle once more.

It was hardly shocking. He'd witnessed his friend fucking his way through N'Owleans in the past few weeks. He knew that Nashville had been an anomaly for his friend because he'd been too heartbroken to partake in the local women. Something seemed to have changed in his friend since he'd faced Rachel at Graduation. He was all for this part of the healing process. There was no self-loathing or regret the morning after, just a grin and too many details.

"A cocktail waitress Puck? Just wrap it up, because you're hardly the first."

Puck scowled in disgust but stalked off towards 'Cindy' and dragged her out of the bar. Blaine laughed heartily at his friend's expense and paid their tab. He figured their room would be occupado for the next few hours so he decided to wander the French Quarter.

**Glee**

"Fuck!" Puck yelped as Cindy's fingers wrapped around his cock.

He fumbled with his key card as she pumped him slowly. He groaned in delicious agony as the door opened. He pulled her inside and slammed the door behind them. Pushing her up against the door roughly, he pulled her skirt to her ankles and slipped his fingers inside her panties. She moaned as his fingers slipped into her slick pussy. His free hand pulled her tank top and bra down, freeing her large breasts. He started pumping his fingers as he suctioned his lips over one of her perky nipples and she screamed in pleasure. Her hand tightened reflexively around his cock and he bit down on her nipple in surprise.

"Fuck, Oh my Goddd!" She screamed as she came around his fingers.

His thumb brushed over his clit as she started to come down, triggering another orgasm.

"Puckkkk! Righht there!" She shrieked as she convulsed against the door.

She opened her eyes and smiled at him wickedly before turning them and pushing him up against the door. He didn't question her as she dropped to her knees and pulled his jeans to the floor.

"Commando? Naughty." She whispered before sheathing him in her mouth.

He cried out and his hand grabbed the back of her head as the tip of his cock hit the back of her throat. She started to swallow around him when his balls began to tighten.

"Holy fuck!" He yelled as he came violently in her mouth.

She smiled, licking her lips as she stood before him. He stared at her hungrily for a moment before pushing her back towards his bed.

* * *

"I like her."

Puck looked at his friend in surprise. Blaine shrugged.

"I know that the two of you are just fucking exclusively while we're here, but she's kind of awesome." Blaine explained.

Puck looked at him thoughtfully before smiling lecherously.

"The girl has the most talented mouth. And a sexual appetite that rivals mine. Why would I go looking elsewhere while I'm here?" Puck wiggled his eyebrows.

Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Oh I'm aware."

Puck furrowed his eyebrows and studied his friend.

"You don't mind do you? I know that you're always kind of on your own when we're fucking."

"Nah, as long as I don't have to hear her again. Girl has some pitch issues." Blaine answered with a laugh.

"You should hear her when she's on her fourth or fifth-"

"I get it! No more details." Blaine yelled covering his ears.

* * *

Blaine sat in an internet cafe and added pictures of his summer so far with Puck. He decided to leave out the pictures of Cindy because he was sure that Rachel had been following their trip religiously. She may have screwed things up but he didn't want to intentionally hurt her.

He took a sip of his iced coffee before his curiosity got the better of him. He clicked on her Facebook page. He smiled as he looked through her photos. She had taken pictures in front of every New York landmark probably within a day of having arrived there.

It wasn't until he noticed her single status that he realised that she'd been alone in all of her new photos.

* * *

Puck placed a beer in front of Blaine and sat down beside him in the crowded bar.

"This guy sucks." He yelled and Blaine snorted into his beer.

"Yeah, the music here has been fantastic. I can't believe they'd let him get up there in the first place." Blaine replied, his eyes moving around the bar in an attempt to drown out the wailing over the sound system.

"I'm bored of New Orleans." Puck announced and Blaine felt a wave of relief.

"Me too. Where to next?" Blaine asked curiously.

"You mentioned California when we first left Ohio," Puck answered thoughtfully before snapping his fingers excitedly. "I'll teach you how to surf!"

Blaine chuckled and clinked his beer against Puck's.

"What about Cindy?" He asked after a few moments.

Puck rolled his eyes and took a long drag from his beer.

"Cindy is an angel. She was the perfect rebound and she never expected more from me. She knew I was leaving eventually," He smiled fondly. "There won't be any tears or promises to call. We'll rock each other's worlds once more and then say goodbye."

Blaine shook his head as he realised that his friend was totally right. Cindy was a smart girl and had never expected more from Puck, never wanted more from him.

"Cool. Well how about the two of you say your goodbyes tomorrow morning and we'll leave tomorrow night? I'll spend the day doing ghost tours and we'll meet up around dinner?" Blaine suggested.

Puck grinned and bumped Blaine's fist.

* * *

Blaine waved goodbye to Cindy as Puck pulled onto the highway. She smiled and walked away. Blaine adjusted his sunglasses and looked at the map in front of him.

"Puck, you know that we could just use GPS right?" He sighed as he stared at the stupid map.

"A road trip isn't a road trip without getting a little lost because of a shitty map." Puck declared and Blaine laughed.

"Yeah, I know. I've seen Supernatural. But this isn't the Impala Puck."

"Fuck you Sammy Winchester. Don't make me turn on Zeppelin again." Puck said with a very Dean like grimace.

Blaine laughed.

"Texas?" He asked doubtfully.

"Nah, not really my scene; probably not yours either Cowboy." Puck answered and the two of them burst into laughter.

"Alright well then let's drive through Texas. New Mexico?"

"I've always wanted to see Arizona." Puck mentioned in lieu of an answer.

Blaine laughed and settled in for the drive. He decided to sleep for a bit so that he could drive for Puck later that night. His last thought before sleep took him was that this was the best summer of his life.

* * *

California was beautiful. They spent the last two weeks of their trip on the beaches. Puck had successfully taught him how to surf and Blaine had a tan for the first time in his life.

"I knew you'd loosen up once we got you out of those bowties." Puck told him as he sipped a beer on the towel next to him, sunglasses low on his nose.

Blaine only laughed as he thought over his clothing changes this summer. He'd bought a pair of cowboy boots in Nashville, a Bluesy hat in New Orleans and many landmark shirts along the way. He'd followed Puck's lead and switched to tank tops and board shorts since arriving in California. He wasn't sure that he'd be going back to daily bowties when he got back.

"Yeah, yeah whatever Coco Chanel." Blaine replied with a sneer.

"Coco Chanel? Screw you dude." Puck answered, flipping him a half-hearted bird.

They settled into a comfortable silence as the sun beat down on them. They were hitting the road the next day and heading straight to Lima. School started next week and they'd promised Santana to be around for the end of summer parties before everyone left.

"Has San decided where she's going yet? Is she taking the cheer scholarship or heading to New York?" Puck asked after Blaine handed him another beer.

"She still hasn't decided. I think she might take the cheer scholarship and then head to New York next year." Blaine told him, a pang hitting his chest when he thought of his ally leaving him.

His worry must have shown in his voice because Puck turned to face him.

"Sammy will still be around man. So will Brit."

Blaine just nodded.

"Where are you going after you drop me off?" Blaine asked his friend.

Puck just shrugged.

* * *

They didn't make many stops on the way back. They'd seen all they could this summer.

"Hey Puck what are you doing next summer?" Blaine asked as they pulled away from a gas station in Missouri.

Puck laughed in response and promised to plan an even more kickass road trip.

Blaine took over driving just outside of Indiana so that Puck could sleep. His friend was snoring quietly within twenty minutes of the switch. Blaine glanced at his friend and thought over their summer together. He had been relieved to watch him heal. Puck still twitched when something reminded him of Rachel but he didn't look haunted afterwards anymore.

He shook Puck awake as they entered the Lima city limits. As Puck blinked sleepily at the familiar houses, Blaine felt a wave of sadness. He'd gotten so used to having him around every day. The two of them were closer than brothers and he'd probably be leaving again within a week. School wouldn't be the same either. He'd struggled when Puck had left but he'd had San and Quinn, Mike and Sam.

"It'll be alright man." Puck's voice invaded his thoughts.

Blaine turned to face him as he pulled up outside his home.

"Don't worry about it. Sammy will be there and so will Britt. They'll need you and you'll be too busy to miss everyone else. It's just one more year." Puck continued.

Blaine nodded mutely. He'd never been a big fan of change and this was going to be a big one.

* * *

"I've missed you dickheads!" Santana yelled as they walked into her house that night.

Her first end of summer party was already in full swing. She threw herself at them both for hugs and Blaine wondered if they shouldn't have brought her along with them. He saw Brittany smiling at them over her shoulder and realised she'd been where she needed to be.

"How was your summer?" Blaine asked Santana as she pulled away from Puck.

"It was good. Lazy though." Santana told him as she pulled them into her kitchen and handed them drinks. "But tell me about your fucking summer! I stalked the shit out of your facebook and creeped your photos."

Blaine and Puck laughed before launching into stories of their trip. By the time they'd finished talking they'd been joined by the rest of the club minus Rachel.

They all exchanged hugs and stories from the summer as they drank in San's kitchen. Blaine noticed the pained smile on Sam's face and realised that he was probably just as nervous about the coming year. He raised his beer in his direction and smiled, receiving one in return.

* * *

Mercedes left for LA the next day to attend UCLA. Mike left to Chicago and Quinn headed to Ann Arbour the day after that.

Blaine spent the week saying goodbye as his friends executed a mass exodus out of Lima. Puck was there beside him for it all. The hardest goodbye had been with Santana. She was the last to leave, desperate to spend as much time with Puck, Blaine and Brittany as possible before heading to Jacksonville.

The four of them had driven to the airport together. They had all stood in the lobby and stared at each other for a few minutes. Santana was the first to burst into tears, Brittany following as she watched the tears stream down San's face. Puck and Blaine were wiping stray tears as they watched the girls say goodbye to each other.

"I love you." Santana told her girlfriend quietly before kissing her gently.

"I love you too San. Skype me when you get there?" Brittany replied before moving away.

Puck stepped forward and hugged his friend tightly. Santana cried against his shoulder as Puck whispered soothing words against her hair.

"I fuckin' love you Satan. Just call me if you need me and I'm there." Puck promised, kissing her forehead one last time.

Santana's face turned to Blaine's and the two of them started crying anew. She threw herself into his arms, holding him tightly. She sobbed into his neck and he kissed her hair.

"You are one of the best friends I've ever had." She whispered. "I don't know what to do without you. The three of you are it for me."

He hugged her more tightly, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"San, I wouldn't have gotten through the last year without you. You're beautiful and funny and fierce. You're a better friend than anyone could ask for. I love you. You're going to be great." Blaine told her thickly.

"What if I'm not great?" She whispered. "What if I suck or hate it there?"

Blaine laughed and kissed her forehead.

"You have all that money for New York. Just go there. You have options San. This is just one of them." Blaine told her with a smile, stepping out of her grasp as the PA announced that her flight was boarding. "Kill it San. I miss you already."

Santana looked at the three of them slowly, like she was memorizing their faces before smiling and turning away from them. She had just turned the corner when Brittany dropped to her knees and sobbed. Blaine and Puck lifted her to her feet and into Puck's arms. She cried in Puck's lap as Blaine drove them home. Blaine couldn't hear what Puck said to her but her tears stopped and she smiled as she got out at her house.

"Thanks guys. I'll see you on Tuesday, Blaine."

The two of them nodded and she headed into her house. Blaine drove quietly back to Puck's house, tired with emotion. He pulled up and the two of them got out of the car. Puck pulled him into a hug and Blaine sighed in relief. The two of them stepped back and looked at each other.

"You'll be okay Blaine. She'll be back for Thanksgiving and then Christmas. Change is good."

Blaine looked at his friend and thought over the last year. Change had been good for Puck. He was happier and better than Blaine had ever seen him.

This time he believed him.

* * *

**Liked it? Hated it? Let me know!**


	5. 5

_One year later_

Blaine groaned under the weight of the box he was carrying out to the moving truck that Puck had rented. He hoisted the box into the back of the truck and wiped his brow.

"Why the hell are you guys doing this in July?" Sam asked as he dropped another box onto the truck bed.

Blaine ogled his shirtless friend for a moment with a salacious grin as Sam blushed and flipped him off.

"Don't worry about it Sammy boy. I'm as straight as they come and even I fly at half mast for your body." Puck joked as he tossed them each a bottle of water.

Sam huffed with a barely concealed grin.

"Yeah yeah, we all know you're gay for each other. Can somebody help me with this shit?" Santana shouted as she walked towards them, carrying a rather heavy box.

Puck stepped forward and took the box from her and she moved to lean against the truck with Blaine.

"I'm with Sammy. Couldn't you have done this in October or March or something? It's fucking hot." Santana grumbled before swiping the water bottle out of Blaine's hand and draining it.

"San, it's always hot where we're going." Blaine told her.

"I don't know what you're bitching about Satan," Puck interjected with a wicked grin. "Ohio in July can't be hotter than your home in Hell, can it Lucifer?"

Blaine laughed as Santana ran at him. She chased him around the lawn for a few minutes before they both collapsed on the ground in laughter and heat exhaustion.

Brittany and Quinn joined the four of them as they carried some more boxes out of Blaine's house. They both smiled in amusement as Santana and Puck wrestled on the grass.

"When do you leave?" Quinn asked later as they loaded the last of Blaine's stuff into the truck.

"Tomorrow morning."

"I can't believe you assholes aren't staying around for the summer." Santana growled with a pout.

"You could always head out to LA and crash at our place." Blaine countered with a smile.

The plans were already forming behind the Latina's eyes as she smirked back at him.

Blaine flattened the last box and carried it out to the dumpster behind their condo. He smiled at his elderly neighbour on the way back up and winked at the cute guy down the hall.

The last year hadn't been easy but he'd survived it. They'd taken Nationals again and he'd been named valedictorian. His parents had been in the crowd with Santana and Puck who screamed the loudest. He was happy to leave high school behind to begin his new life in LA with Puck.

Puck headed back out to LA after their road trip the summer before. He'd been there for a few months when he'd caught the eye of a record executive while playing at an open mic night. He'd been given a job as a studio musician for the label with the promise of stardom if he was interested. He'd spent much of the last nine months providing guitar and backup vocals for the hottest musicians of the moment. The pay was excellent and he had announced his intention of finally putting down roots when he'd visited Blaine for spring break. The condo he chose to rent had three bedrooms and he'd promised Blaine one of the bedrooms once he was done with school.

Life in LA was better than Puck had promised. He'd loved his time here the summer before. But there was something about actually living here that he loved. He and Puck had moved effortlessly from best friends to roommates who were best friends. Blaine had discovered Puck's cooking skills quickly and the two of them lived well considering their age.

"I've got a gig for you tomorrow." Puck announced, stirring Blaine from his thoughts.

Blaine turned to face his friend as Puck handed him a beer.

"You and I are playing at that bar downtown I love so much. My boss is gonna be there." Puck told him as he began moving around their kitchen, making dinner.

"That's sick. I don't mind working in a cafe you know." Blaine told him half-honestly. "You don't have to pull strings for me."

Puck snorted and dumped the pasta into the boiling water.

"Whatever Dude. I have a gig. He's gonna be there. You're going to sing. Three separate events."

Blaine laughed and shook his head as he set the table.

"Santana and Brit are heading to New York this week. Neither one of them were totally convinced when they were here for the summer." Blaine told him.

Puck shrugged as he dished out the pasta.

"LA isn't for everyone."

"You have an extraordinary talent Blaine."

Blaine stood slack-jawed as Puck's boss complimented him. Puck was grinning beside him, nursing a beer.

"Thanks, sir."

Adam Robson threw back his head and laughed.

"Polite, I respect that. But it's just Adam please." Adam reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. "Call my secretary, set up an appointment. I have a few tracks I'd like to hear you sing." He grinned at Puck before winking at Blaine conspiratorially. "Maybe when we sign you, you can convince your friend here to do more than perform backup."

"We'll see." Puck replied with a laugh as Blaine mouthed the word 'when' in shock.

"See you soon Blaine." Adam said before turning and walking out of the bar.

Blaine watched him go, staring at the door for several moments before Puck's laughter roused him.

"What the fuck just happened?" Blaine breathed out.

Puck threw an arm around his shoulder and signalled for more drinks.

"You just got discovered Anderson. Congratu-fucking-lations man. Now! We drink!" Puck bellowed.

Blaine accepted the shot that was shoved in hand and grinned happily.

"Can we play that back one more time?" Blaine requested into the microphone in front of him.

He glanced at Puck who nodded in agreement. He still couldn't believe that he was working on his first solo album. As if life wasn't good enough; Puck was co-writing and providing the guitar and backup vocals.

"I don't love the way I hit that note. Can I maybe take the chorus again? Puck could you take it down half an octave?" Blaine explained after listening to the playback.

The guys in the booth nodded at him and started the track from just before the chorus. He started in on the chorus and was happy to note that the changes were good. He saw the grin on Puck's face and knew that his friend agreed with the new sound.

"Awesome, thanks guys. See you tomorrow."

Blaine and Puck walked out of the studio and nodded to the receptionist before leaving the building.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing Adam Levine in the hallway." Blaine mumbled to Puck as they headed towards his truck.

"He said something about having you sing on one of his tracks. He loves your sound." Puck replied casually with a blank expression.

Puck's face broke into an amused grin as Blaine walked into the side of Puck's truck in astonishment.

"Life is good Anderson. Life is good."

The album was coming along nicely when Puck announced that he was thinking about taking Adam up on his offer. He'd been impressed with the artistic freedom that had been given to Blaine and had notebooks worth of songs ready.

After much haggling with the executives to maintain his vision, Puck signed on with Robson Records officially.

The next months flew by as the two men worked on their solo albums and enjoyed the California weather. They were rarely found away from the studio or the beach. Long gone were the bowties and polkadots that had defined Blaine in high school. Puck's style had matured as well off the beach. The muscle shirts and tshirts had been replaced with casual dress shirts and jeans.

They skipped going home for Thanksgiving and spent the holiday working instead. They had promised their friends and family that they'd be home for Christmas and they were both looking forward to going home. The friends that they'd kept in contact with, admittedly a short list of San, Brit, Quinn, Sam and Mike, already knew about their upcoming music careers.

Blaine's excitement was tempered by his concern for Puck as the holiday approached. It had been months since he'd seen Puck react in any way to memories of Rachel. He'd hoped that the years apart had erased the hurt but he'd been pulled into Adam's office and the conversation they'd had concerned him.

" _I'm worried about Puck." Adam told him without preamble._

_Blaine regarded the man in front of him warily. The three of them had become great friends outside of work, so he knew that his concern was about more than profit._

" _Have you heard his new stuff? His music has always had a...haunted tone to it. It's clear that he's had a hard time of it and some girl shit that really hurt him. But the last few songs have this super dark tone to them." He paused when Blaine's eyebrows shot up. "It's not the lyrics exactly but the way he's singing them. The lightness is gone and it's too much. Something's up. He can rerecord later; I'm not worried about that."_

" _I'll talk to him." Blaine promised. "Can I hear them?"_

Blaine had sat in the sound booth and shared a look with Adam. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that this was a Rachel thing, he just wasn't sure  _how._

"Rachel's going to be home for Christmas."

The words had passed through Puck's lips over dinner a few nights before they were set to fly home. He'd said them casually but the tension in his shoulders was clear.

Christmas wasn't going to be the fun filled easy holiday of years past.

 


	6. 6

Blaine sat on Rachel's bed and watched her as she busied herself with fixing up her already immaculate room. Her shock at seeing him on her doorstep had quickly become nervousness. It was so strange that their friendship had evolved into this.

"You look good Rach." He told her finally.

Something in his words, perhaps the nickname or the tone seemed to set her at ease.

"New York looks good on you."

She smiled and the atmosphere warmed considerably.

"LA looks better on you." She replied, gesturing to his relaxed style and shorter hair.

She was different. She didn't have to speak for him to know that about her. Physically she had grown into herself. Her hair was highlighted and her style had matured. She was older, happy perhaps. There was knowledge in her eyes where there had only been hope in high school.

"What are you doing here Blaine?" She asked finally.

"I've missed you. I've spent a lot of time thinking about you since I walked away from you at Santana's party. I should have kept in touch." He answered quietly.

He had gotten so caught up in his own life and his fierce loyalty to Puck. But Puck had never and would never ask him to give up a friendship with the woman in front of him. At some point in the last year and a half she had become an adult.

"You did me a great favour by always being honest with me. I needed the time away from everyone Blaine. Everyone I knew just reminded me of the mistakes I had made. I needed the separation to grow up and accept responsibility."

Santana had been strangely silent about her interactions with Rachel since she'd moved to New York with Brittany in September. Though he supposed that he would have been skeptical if she had told him who Rachel had matured into.

"Are you going to the party tomorrow night?" Blaine asked after a moment.

Rachel's eyes studied him for a moment before she looked away with pursed lips.

"I wasn't planning on it." Her tone was contrite.

"Rach, you don't have to avoid your friends just because of –"

"I was the one to mess everything up. I hurt him so much and if missing a few holiday get-togethers is my penance then I accept it."

He reached over and placed a hand over hers. He thought over his words before he spoke.

"I think there has been enough penance. If things are awkward then you guys can figure out like shifts or something." He teased lightly. "I won't pretend that it might not be uncomfortable, but no one really knows what happened between the two of you. And Lima will always be your hometown."

Rachel considered his words for a moment and pursed her lips.

"I just don't want to hurt him anymore." She whispered.

Blaine nodded and felt something akin to pride swell up in his chest. The woman in front of him might just be worthy of his friend one day.

"Then don't. Avoiding him would hurt him."

Rachel nodded and wiped at a stray tear as they pooled in her sad brown eyes.

"Finn won't be around. Kurt told me that he's stationed somewhere overseas for quite some time." Rachel assured him.

Blaine quirked an eyebrow.

"Kurt told you? You and Finn don't talk?"

It wasn't really any of his business and he realised it after the words left his lips. He considered apologizing but Rachel shrugged.

"He was so angry with me when I left for New York. We broke up a week after the graduation party. Thanks for that by the way." Her tone was filled with gratitude instead of the sadness he had expected in association with Finn. "We spoke once before he left for army training but it wasn't a pleasant conversation. That was that. I returned the ring and he told me he'd never forgive me." She finished with another shrug.

"And you're okay with that?" Blaine asked.

"Not really. I wish that he wasn't so angry with me but I deserve it. I also know that I did the right thing, even if it took an inappropriate amount of time. He'll find someone who loves him the way he deserves to be loved. I haven't felt that way about him since sophomore year." She admitted, playing with her bedspread. "The hurt that I caused him doesn't even rate in comparison to the way I treated Noah."

The two of them sat in silence, each reflecting on that last year of high school. Blaine couldn't find a trace of the selfish, stubborn brat who had broken and abused his best friend. He now understood just why Santana had kept quiet about Rachel. He was sure that the two of them would get along famously and Santana wouldn't want the situation to be misunderstood. In his wildest dreams he hadn't expected for Rachel to grow so much in the short year and a half since he'd seen her last.

"You need to forgive yourself for all of that. You're not the same girl who did all of that." Blaine broke the silence gently. "I see that. Eventually he'll see that too."

Her eyes were tearful and disbelieving, but he detected just the tiniest spark of hope buried in their chocolaty depths.

"I can't promise that the two of you will ever be friends again, but he's a good man. He's always seen people for who they are and he'll see that you've changed. Just give him a bit of space." He smiled at her sadly. "Just no graduation-like surprise hugs okay? He was so shaken by that. But please come to the parties. I know that he wants to see you, even if he doesn't know why."

Rachel nodded and he pulled her into his lap. She curled against his chest and he held his old friend tightly.

"You did  _what?_ " Puck bellowed as Blaine leaned against his childhood bedroom wall.

"I told her not to avoid the parties." Blaine repeated himself.

Puck looked like he might hit him but Blaine didn't miss the look of relief that had crossed his features a moment ago. His friend glared in his direction as he tore through his closet. Blaine watched him shoving his shirts aside repeatedly for a few moments before sighing. He pushed himself off the wall and walked over to his friend. His hands covered Puck's frenzied ones until his friend took a deep breath and stepped away from the closet. Blaine pointed to the bed and Puck sat on the edge of the bed and glared at the floor. Blaine gave him a moment to think as he picked out Puck's favourite dress shirt and jeans. He placed them on the bed before sitting on the desk chair in front of Puck.

"This is the part where you tell me what you're so worried about. Because we both know that it doesn't matter what shirt you wear. Hands down, you'll be the most attractive man in that room." He waited for a ghost of a smile to cross Puck's lips before continuing. "So tell me what this is really about."

He watched as Puck rested his elbows on his knees and began twisting his hands together. He'd noticed that Puck only resorted to this little tick when he was stressed out.

"I don't know if I want to see her." Puck said tonelessly.

"Try again." Blaine replied to his friend's obvious lie.

"I don't know if I'm ready to see her again?" Puck's voice was indecisive.

"Nope. Come on Puck."

Puck's eyes left the floor and found Blaine's. Blaine was almost amused that his friend thought he could stare him down after all these years. Puck exhaled tiredly and his shoulders slumped.

"I've been dying to fucking see her." He muttered so quietly Blaine almost missed it.

Blaine simply nodded.

"And that makes me a total fucking idiot. Or maybe just a sicko masochist." Puck scrubbed a hand over his scalp. "Either way it makes me more fucked up than I'd like to be."

Blaine had already known all of this. He'd heard his music. He'd heard the thinly veiled self-loathing and the desperation with which he missed Rachel.

"You're not a masochist."

Puck snorted and Blaine frowned.

"If you had insisted on seeing her two years ago I would have called you a masochist. But it's been two years Puck. You're not the person that she broke two years ago." Blaine paused for a moment before continuing. "She's not the same girl who broke you either."

Puck's head snapped up.

"I didn't know that the two of you had kept in touch." Puck's voice was cool.

"We haven't. Today was the first time we've spoken since graduation." Blaine explained.

Puck nodded, instantly regretting his tone.

"I told her not to avoid the parties. I did that for her. But mostly I did it for you." Blaine told him quietly. "I've heard your new demos. I know that you miss her and I get that you hate yourself for it. Maybe once you see each other you won't resent yourself anymore."

Blaine clapped him on the shoulder and left him to get ready for the party.

"I'll be back in an hour to pick you up."

Puck nodded and sent him a half smile before he walked out of the room.

This was going to be an interesting night.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Blaine glanced over at Puck as he drove towards Santana's place. His friend's knee had been bouncing since he'd gotten into Blaine's car five minutes ago. He also hadn't spoken a word to him yet, indicating that he was back to feeling pissed off. Pissed off and jittery was never a conducive combo for Puck.

"Stop it." Puck snarled and Blaine smiled.

"Stop what?" Blaine asked innocently as he turned onto Santana's street.

"Stop staring at me like I'm going to freak out."

Blaine stuck his tongue out at Puck and his friend bit back a smile

"Chill out. And don't get shitfaced." Blaine replied as he pulled over against the curb in front of Santana's neighbour's house.

Puck snorted and got out of the car. Blaine joined him on the sidewalk and threw him a glance.

"I know that this feels like the biggest, hardest thing you've had to do in the last two years, but it's not. You're recording a fucking album man. You graduated early and you lived out of your truck for a year. This is easy." Blaine clapped him on the shoulder. "She's just as nervous about this as you are. So just go with it. If it's awful then we'll blow off the rest of the party and go to the lake."

Puck pursed his lips for a moment before his shoulders relaxed and he nodded.

Blaine had found the perfect vantage point on the counter in Santana's kitchen. From where he was seated on the counter he could keep an eye on his friends in the next room. Puck and Rachel hadn't done more than nod in each other's direction since they'd arrived two hours before. But despite Blaine's warning, Puck was fast on his way to drunk and Blaine was worried that his brain to mouth filter might fail them all.

"You just have to let it happen." Santana yelled into his ear over the blaring music.

He studied her and noted that she had also had too much to drink. He took a sip of his cola and waited for her to continue.

"We both know that they need to have it out. It's been two years and they're in fucking love with each other." Santana told him. "They're not right for each other right now but they will be. They need to get this shit out of the way. I know you're worried about what he might say to her. But neither one of them could possibly hurt each other more than they already have."

He had to concede her point. He wasn't quite ready to start planning the Puckleberry wedding just yet but he knew that she was probably right. Puck may have gotten past some of the heartbreak but he'd never gotten over her.

He had a bit of a mental struggle before deciding to follow Santana's advice. He'd sit back and let whatever happened happen. But he planned on watching just in case. He loved the two of them too much and he knew that neither one of them really wanted their past to be public knowledge. They'd done a great job of keeping the details secret, their classmates only knowing that they had fallen out during senior year.

"She's changed."

Blaine turned to face Quinn who was tucked under Sam's arm.

"I know." He answered quietly.

The three of them lapsed into silence and watched as Puck threw back the last of his drink before throwing the red solo cup aside. Blaine held his breath as he watched his friend stalk over to Rachel where she was standing with Tina. No words were exchanged as he grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the room and into the backyard which was, thankfully, deserted due to the cold weather.

"Here we go." Sam breathed out, taking a large gulp of his own drink.

Puck dropped Rachel's arm after slamming the back door behind them. The cold winter air hit his face and suddenly he was feeling far too sober for this conversation. He turned away from her and stalked deeper into Santana's spacious backyard. He heard her following him silently and he came to a halt. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The scent of her vanilla perfume hit his face and he found himself breathing more deeply. Fuck he'd missed her. He was overtaken by memories of their stolen time together and he nearly lost himself in it. It had been so long since he'd allowed himself to really think back to that time.

"You still smell fucking perfect. Like vanilla and soap and  _you._ " He growled into the wind.

He heard her sharp intake of breath followed by a sad sigh.

"You look even better than I remember too." He continued, unsure of why the hell he was saying any of this. Hadn't he planned on yelling at her?

But standing out there he really just wanted to fucking kiss her. She wasn't speaking, but maybe she wasn't sure that she should. He opened his eyes and slowly turned to face her. His breath caught as his eyes trailed up her body. She really was fucking beautiful. The kind of beautiful that hurts to behold. The kind of beautiful that might just kill you.

As if she hadn't almost once already.

She was staring at him with this sadness in her eyes and hell if it didn't make her that much more amazing. He could see the regret shining there that she'd lacked the last time he'd seen her.

He really needed to stop this. She was probably a married woman by now. He hadn't seen Finn yet, thank God. His eyes found her left hand and widened when he noticed the missing jewelry. She took a hesitant step forward when she noticed.

"We, um broke up right after graduation." She told him quietly in that voice that he'd tried so hard to forget.

His gaze fell on her face, searching for a trace of Finn-related sadness and finding none.

"He went into the army. We haven't really spoken since." She told him, holding his gaze.

"Why are you telling me this?" He choked out after a minute of strained silence.

Her eyes began to water and her gaze dropped to his feet. He watched as she began twisting her hands anxiously and biting her lip.

"I'm not sure." She whispered.

"I should hate you." He told her.

"I know." She sniffled, still staring at the ground.

"I want to. I  _need_  to hate you." He explained.

She nodded and wiped absently at the tears as they fell from her downturned face.

"But I really just want to fucking  _kiss_  you and I hate myself for it." He finished angrily.

She looked up at him and the sadness in her eyes was magnified. She moved forwards and placed a hand on his cheek. He'd deny later that he leaned into her hand. She didn't say a word but she didn't kiss him either. They stood like that for what might have been hours before she finally broke the silence.

"I hurt you in a way that might be unforgiveable. I took the love of the best man I've ever known and twisted it and him for my own purposes." Her thumb moved along his jaw line lightly as her eyes searched his earnestly. "More than anything I want you to forgive me. I  _want_  you to kiss me because I've spent the last two years dreaming of you." She flashed him a sad half-smile. "But I can't be selfish with you, never again."

He watched dumbly as her hand dropped and she stepped away from him.

"Please don't hate yourself." She whispered, taking another step away from him.

He stared at her as she backed away from him and he was at a loss. This hadn't gone the way he'd planned. She was walking away from him and he thought he might break again if she did. She seemed to be aware of his inner turmoil because her steps faltered and she stared at him miserably.

"I'm going back to New York tomorrow. I've got an audition for an off-Broadway play." She paused and her eyes wandered over him as if she were memorizing every inch of him. "Take care of yourself Noah. I'd trade anything for your happiness. I'd trade Broadway."

He stood in shock as she turned from him and walked out of the yard and through the side gate. He listened as her car started and stood there even as he heard it turn the corner and drove away.

" _I'd trade anything for your happiness. I'd trade Broadway."_

"Come on man." Blaine's voice broke through his stupor and he realised that he was standing shivering in the backyard and that snow had started to fall.

"You've been out here for an hour." Blaine told him quietly and handed him a cup of coffee as he pushed him into the kitchen.

Puck glanced around and saw only his closest friends were still present. Quinn smiled softly at him from her perch on Sam's lap. Santana walked over and sat herself in Puck's lap and her warmth caused him to shiver. Yeah so maybe spending an hour outside in a t-shirt wasn't a smart idea, but he'd never claimed to be a smart drunk.

" _I'd trade anything for your happiness. I'd trade Broadway."_

For the first time in a month his face broke into a real smile. His friends all sighed in relief as he felt another piece of himself heal.


	8. Chapter 8

****

_Four years later_

"Puck, are you sure about this?" Blaine asked his friend, perching on the coffee table in front of Puck.

Puck laughed and nodded.

"You think I was gonna let you head to New York all by yourself?" Puck answered with a laugh. "You might get lost or mugged or something."

Blaine shook his head, because no he hadn't really expected that. Sometime in the past five years the two of them had become a package deal. So when Blaine decided he didn't want to be a recording artist anymore his friend had supported him. When he'd been offered an unbelievable job as an exec at the New York branch of their label he'd hoped his friend would come along for the ride.

"You're sure about New York though?" Blaine asked him pointedly.

The two of them hadn't really mentioned Rachel since Santana's Christmas party a few years back. Blaine hadn't asked what happened and Puck hadn't shared. Blaine knew that whatever had been said had been healing for his friend. Puck had come back and trashed a few of his angstier songs. He hadn't done a lot of dating in the past four years but Blaine assumed that it had more to do with lack of time than anything else.

Blaine had a blast as a solo artist for the first few years. The screaming fans and touring the world with his best friend had been incredible. But after the success and craziness of his third studio album he had decided to hang it up, at least for now. He'd always been interested in business and he'd managed to get in a few classes during the past year. When Adam had offered him the job in New York he'd felt that things were falling into place. His fans had been devastated when the label announced his retirement from the music scene. The many fan pages and twitter accounts calling for a change in decision had warmed his heart.

"I've always loved New York." Puck hedged.

Blaine rolled his eyes.

Rachel had truly become New York's darling, the way she'd always dreamed about her life turning out. The little off-Broadway show had hit Broadway within a year and Rachel had taken New York by storm. She was nominated for a Tony for her first ever performance and had recently begun starring in the reworked Beauty and the Beast. The rave reviews indicated that his friend would receive her first Tony later this year.

Which meant that her face was on every billboard.

"Are you ready to live in her city?" Blaine asked pointedly.

Puck laughed and shook his head.

"It isn't  _her_ city. She just happens to live there." Puck replied before growing serious. "I've always wanted to live there. Maybe it's the end of the line. Maybe I'll skip out a week after we get there. But I've done enough surfing for three lifetimes and I'm over LA."

Blaine nodded and left it at that.

"I can't believe you losers finally live here!" Santana yelled happily as she unpacked a box of dishes in their new brownstone home.

"Are you sure that you two aren't together-together?" Brittany asked them as she unpacked Puck's Blu-ray collection.

Blaine and Puck looked at each other and turned to stare at the blonde girl blankly. She hadn't changed much since high school.

"You too are super rich. You could each own like ten of these homes and you still want to live together?" Brittany clarified.

Blaine and Puck looked at each other once more and just shrugged. It wasn't the first time that someone had questioned their close relationship. But Puck was as straight as the day was long and Blaine had never had any romantic inclinations towards his best friend.

"No honey." Santana told her wife. "These two put the 'bro' in romance."

The two women had gotten married the year before, eloping in Hawaii with only Puck and Blaine in attendance. The four of them had been on vacation when Brittany and Santana had decided to make honest women out of each other.

"Where's Bridezilla?" Puck asked as Sam walked through the front door with takeout.

Sam snorted with amusement and placed the food on the counter. They'd taken to calling Quinn the unpleasant nickname despite her calm and collected excitement while planning their wedding.

"She was meeting a friend for coffee." Sam told them as he doled out the Chinese food onto recently unpacked plates.

The friend was clearly Rachel but no one commented on it. Blaine and Puck knew that the five of them had become inseparable over the past few years. Rachel was going to be Quinn's Maid of Honour the following year when they finally tied the knot. Blaine knew that Sam was hoping for Puck to be his Best Man but he hadn't asked him yet. The group of friends were waiting to see how Rachel and Puck interacted when they finally met up after four years of separation.

"I was thinking about seeing her show tomorrow night." Puck announced offhandedly as he shovelled the Chinese food down.

Santana, Blaine and Sam stared at Puck blankly before Brittany clapped her hands happily. Puck rolled his eyes.

"Do you want some company?" Santana asked, studying him.

"We've already seen it seven times!" Brittany announced happily before bouncing towards the kitchen.

Puck snorted.

"I think I can handle it on my own." He told them arrogantly. "It's not a big deal."

Blaine saw the telltale twitch above his left eyebrow and knew that it hadn't escaped the sharp and concerned gazes of Santana and Sam respectively.

"It's not a big deal." He repeated as he put his food down.

Blaine simply nodded along with Sam and Santana, hoping for the best.

Puck shifted in his seat and tugged at the collar of his dress shirt. It was really hot in here. The lights hadn't dimmed yet and Puck felt like he'd been waiting for this damn show to start for  _years._ He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. He breathed in and out as silence fell on the theatre. Her voice filled the room and his eyes popped open.

How long had it been since he'd heard her sing?

Too damn long.

He leaned forward in his seat and didn't move until intermission. He'd chosen a seat farther back in the crowd. The last thing he wanted was to be seen or distract her.

He wasn't aware of anything other than Rachel as she floated around the stage. She belonged there in a way that no one else had ever belonged anywhere. It was her home, just like she'd always claimed.

She was a fucking star.

" _I'd trade Broadway for your happiness."_

He sucked in a breath as he remembered their last meeting. She'd walked away from him and she'd taken some of his hurt away with her. He'd wondered several times if she'd meant those words. But sitting here and watching her, he was so fucking happy that she hadn't traded Broadway. He'd never have asked her to, even back in the beginning when all he wanted was for her to hurt the way he did.

She was incredible. And fuck if he didn't still love her in a way that he didn't know how to handle.

She sat in her changing room and watched as the girl in the mirror cried over the man she'd lost so many years ago. He'd been sitting in the audience tonight. She hadn't seen him until the second scene after the intermission. But she'd known he was there the moment she stepped out on the stage. She'd  _felt_ him the way she always had with him. She'd known he was in the room even though there was no reason for him to be.

Admittedly, she'd half-expected and half-hoped that he'd show up when she learned that he and Blaine were moving to the city. She'd felt his eyes on her tonight though and she had almost lost her focus for the first time in her career.

" _I'd trade Broadway for your happiness."_

She wondered if he'd remembered her words as he watched her perform. They'd been echoing through her head for years and tonight they'd been deafening.

She'd trade this for him in a heartbeat.


	9. Chapter 9

Puck wondered if maybe they had rehab for a situation like his. Yeah he wasn't addicted to drugs or booze but he was addicted. Addicted to her and he knew better than anyone just how much this addiction could fuck up his whole world.

It had started so innocently. Sitting in the crowd that first night and watching her own the place. Her voice and her dancing and fuck, her body blew his mind. What was the harm is seeing her perform again the next week?

The second showing he'd tried to get his fill. He wouldn't be going back again. Enough was enough. But then he realised that she knew he was there. He watched the way her eyes lit up and begin searching the crowd.

The next night he found himself in a different section a bit closer to the stage, hoping that she'd see him yet praying that she wouldn't.

He'd gone back to see her perform at least once a week for a few months before he finally worked up the courage to visit her backstage. He made it as far as her dressing room door before he panicked and bolted out of the theatre.

He managed to stay away for a whole week after that mess, afraid that somehow she knew.

He spent the next few months in a shroud of secrecy and if his friends knew where he was spending most of his nights, they didn't let on.

She began to fill his dreams and fuck with his life. He spent his days biding his time, just getting through until he could line up for another damn ticket. He could quote the whole play and found himself constantly humming the tunes.

She caught his eye on the twenty-third time he'd seen the show. He watched as her breath caught and her lashes fluttered and he almost ran out of the theatre. He was gone the moment the curtains fell and in a bar minutes later. He fucked a stranger that night for the first time in years. He pushed the poor girl's body to its limits as he tried to fuck Rachel out of his system. His eyes remained open in an attempt to keep memories of Rachel out of his mind. The girl, whose name he didn't bother to ask for left sated and thoroughly fucked.

She hadn't been gone for more than ten minutes before he decided that it was time to leave New York for a bit. He was packed and on the first flight out, leaving a vague note for Blaine to find the next morning. Even he knew that it was a shitty thing to do.

He'd gone on tour in Europe for three months in an attempt to rid himself of her memory. The fans were thrilled to buy tickets for his last-minute shows and he earned some serious cash. He missed his best friend though. He'd never toured without him and he knew he'd hurt Blaine by leaving after months of lies.

Rachel still managed to consume his thoughts even at such a great distance. Some nights he ached for her in a physical way that made no sense to him. He hadn't touched her in years, but fuck he wanted to.

"Have you even talked to her?" Blaine asked him one night as Puck laid in his hotel in Berlin.

Puck didn't answer. Of course he hadn't. He'd taken to stalking her instead, thus his hasty exodus from New York.

"You should." Blaine told him sadly before hanging up.

His stupid behaviour had worried Blaine to no end and Puck felt sorry for it. He just didn't know what to do. He couldn't go backwards and he had no idea how to move on. He just needed to make things right, his people deserved better.

Blaine picked him up at the airport and the two of them hugged.

"I'm sorry." Puck mumbled thickly against Blaine's shoulder, tears fighting to escape.

Blaine said nothing but Puck knew that he was forgiven.

"How long are you around for?" Blaine asked him as they hailed a cab.

Puck heard the worry in his friend's tone.

"A while. I was thinking about maybe taking a break from touring. Write some music instead." Puck told him as the answer came to him.

"We've got some new songwriters but I'm sure I can talk to Adam about it." Blaine assured him.

The two of them settled back into the cab and Puck promised himself he'd handle himself better this time around.

"Don't fucking do that again Asshole!" Santana growled through her tears as she punched him repeatedly in the stomach.

Puck gathered his angry friend into his arms and held her tight as the fight left her body. He felt her shaking and he knew that he'd worried all of his friends deeply.

"I'm sorry." He murmured against her hair.

His eyes caught Sam's across the room and he gave him a sad smile. His friends had been waiting at the apartment and Santana had immediately attacked him. He'd really put his friends through the ringer and it was time for him to grow the fuck up.

"I'm fine." He assured them all as Quinn hugged him tearfully as well. The extra squeeze told him that she knew exactly how he'd spent the months leading up to his leave of insanity.

"Promise?" Brittany asked quietly. "Blaine was so sad without his boyfriend."

The group chuckled wetly as Santana once again explained to her wife the situation.

Puck settled into his new job as a songwriter quickly and found the office work enjoyable. He had been working with an up and coming singer Benjamin Watters who wanted substance in his music. Ben wasn't interested in singing 'poppy shit' or being the flavour of the month. The two of them got along famously and had become friends.

"Did you hear that new demo that Blaine recorded last week?" Benjamin asked him one day.

Puck looked up from his notepad and dropped his pen on the table tiredly. He grabbed his mug off the table and stood up to stretch.

"No, who wrote it?" Puck asked as he poured himself a cup of water from the cooler in the corner.

"Some Broadway chick. She sings the demo too." Ben answered and Puck froze.

Benjamin held up his hands hastily.

"Dude, I'm not like thinking of working with another writer or anything. But she sounds perfect and the song is just fucking haunting. You'd love it." Ben explained. "She's got this quality man."

Puck waved him off and ended their session early.

"I want to hear it." Puck told Blaine a week later.

He'd been fighting himself over it for a week and had yet to say anything to Blaine. But people around the office had been talking about this damn track and he just had to hear it.

"It being what exactly?" Blaine asked him without looking up from his computer.

"Don't fuck with me Blaine. I know she recorded a song, everyone is talking about it."

Blaine's eyes snapped up and met his own.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Puck asked.

"I didn't sign her. Jeff signed her a week after we hired you and I didn't know anything about it. She's just playing around in the studio right now. She's committed to her show for another year, but the higher-ups just wanted to get started." Blaine told him apologetically.

"I want to hear it." Puck repeated.

"Why?" Blaine asked him.

"I don't know. But I want to hear it."

"Puck, I don't think it's a good idea." Blaine told him.

"Why the hell not?" Puck asked petulantly.

Blaine stood and closed the door before whirling on him.

"Maybe because the last time you heard her sing you spent a few months watching the same show repeatedly, borderline stalking her and then ran off to Europe." Blaine retorted angrily. "She was just singing Disney songs then Puck. These are her words, her soul and you can't unhear it."

Puck listened and understood what his friend was saying.

"It's about me?"

Blaine studied him for a moment before nodding slightly. Puck let out a breath of surprise and stared at Blaine hard.

"What the hell else would she sing about Puck?" Blaine muttered quietly, shaking his head.

Puck nodded and wandered around the office for a few moments. He caught sight of his friend's worried expression and made up his mind.

"I want to hear it."

 


	10. Chapter 10

It had taken a few days of arguing with Blaine and petitioning for support from his friends, but he'd done it.

"You're sure about this?" Blaine asked him for the millionth time today.

Puck nodded. His enthusiasm over his victory had given way to anxiety as Blaine had led him into the recording studio to hear the track. He noticed that Blaine had pursed his lips before turning to the sound board. His friend played with some of the controls before turning back to face him.

"I'll be in my office." Blaine clapped a hand on his shoulder as he walked towards the door. "It's ready when you are."

The door closed behind him and Puck was left alone. His thoughts were frenzied as he considered his friend's reluctance. Blaine would never fight him on this if he wasn't worried about the consequences.

"Fuck it." He muttered after too many minutes of hesitation.

He moved from his chair to the technician's seat and pressed play before he could change his mind. Her voice filled the tiny booth and his eyes closed as he savoured it. He understood just what Ben had meant about the haunting quality of the song.

 **Heart beats fast**  
Colors and promises  
How to be brave  
How can I love when I'm afraid  
To fall  
But watching you stand alone  
All of my doubt  
Suddenly goes away somehow

Her voice washed over him as her words sunk in. This was about him?

**One step closer**

**I have died everyday**  
**waiting for you**  
**Darlin' don't be afraid**  
**I have loved you for a**  
**Thousand years**  
**I'll love you for a**  
**Thousand more**

Puck's chest tightened uncomfortably and his eyes popped open.  _I have died everyday waiting for you. I have loved you for a thousand years?_ Fuck.

 **Time stands still**  
**beauty in all he is**  
**I will be brave**  
**I will not let anything**  
**Take away**  
**What's standing in front of me**  
**Every breath,**  
**Every hour has come**   **to this**

**One step closer**

Her words sang of love but her voice told of loss and it was just too much. It was all too damn much.

 **I have died everyday**  
**Waiting for you**  
**Darlin' don't be afraid**  
**I have loved you for a**  
**Thousand years**  
**I'll love you for a**  
**Thousand more**

Puck stood and began pacing as he ran his hands over his scalp anxiously. His fingers twitched in longing to end this misery and just turn it off. Like a coward.

 **And all along I believed**  
**I would find you**  
**Time has brought**  
**Your heart to me**  
**I have loved you for a**  
**Thousand years**  
**I'll love you for a**  
**Thousand more**

 **One step closer**  
**One step closer**

He dropped back into his seat and held his face in his hands. The emotion in her voice as she took the chorus once more had him gasping for air. She sounded so damn sad, like it was too late.

 **I have died everyday**  
**Waiting for you**  
**Darlin' don't be afraid,**  
**I have loved you for a**  
**Thousand years**  
**I'll love you for a**  
**Thousand more**

Puck fumbled at the buttons against his throat as tears began to pool in his eyes. Why was it so fucking hot in this booth?

 **And all along I believed**  
**I would find you**  
**Time has brought**  
**Your heart to me**  
**I have loved you for a**  
**Thousand years**  
**I'll love you for a**  
**Thousand more**

Barely contained sobs echoed through the booth in the silence after the music faded. His hand found the play button once more and her voice drowned out the sound of his cries. His whole body shook as he let go for the first time in years. Her voice was the soundtrack to his misery remembered, never fully forgotten. He fumbled to put the song on repeat with trembling hands.

 **I have died everyday**  
Waiting for you  
Darlin' don't be afraid  
I have loved you for a  
Thousand years  
I'll love you for a  
Thousand more

He flashed back on their time spent together in the shadows, of the self-loathing and bitter tears.

 **Time stands still**  
beauty in all he is  
I will be brave  
I will not let anything  
Take away  
What's standing in front of me

He vividly remembered all of the sleepless nights after he left her, running as far as his truck could carry him. The dreams of her crying out for him would haunt him even when he awoke the next morning.

**I have loved you for a  
Thousand years**

He remembers her throwing herself into his arms and the agony in his chest as he walked away on graduation day.

**I'll love you for a  
Thousand more**

There wasn't a day where he didn't think of her, dream of her. His own personal hell wrapped up in his idea of heaven.

**I have died everyday  
Waiting for you**

Being in the same room with her was both suffocation and breathing fresh air for the first time. She was a walking contradiction. She was pain and pleasure, death and life.

His tears dried as the power of his thoughts weighed on him. He'd loved her for longer than he could remember.

 **And all along I believed**  
I would find you  
Time has brought  
Your heart to me  
I have loved you for a  
Thousand years  
I'll love you for a  
Thousand more

As she powered through the last chorus emotionally, he realized something. She loved him too.

Shock clouded his features as he stopped the music from repeating another time. He sat in silence and allowed the idea to sink in. He mouthed the words a few times.

"She loves me."

The idea of it wasn't as ludicrous as he thought it might be. He hadn't dared to hope that she might ever return his feelings.

"She loves me."

After everything that they'd been through, did her feelings change anything? Were they enough to make up for everything that had happened between the two of them so many years ago?

He hummed the chorus of her song as he stood and straightened his clothes. He slipped out of the booth and walked past Blaine's office. She loved him. That didn't have to change anything. They'd spent the last eight years apart.

Who was he kidding? This song changed everything.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Rachel sat on the stool in the booth and read the sheet music in her hands. She nibbled her bottom lip as she noted the changes that had been made to her song. She'd been a little offended when Blaine had first called, that another songwriter had decided to make changes to a song that was so deeply personal to her stung profoundly. As she mouthed the new words she realised that whoever the songwriter was, they'd managed to capture the tone of her song and improve the heart of it.

"What do you think?" Blaine wondered quietly, shifting back and forth with unexplained nervous energy.

"I think," Rachel smiled at him. "I think that the new version is lovely. It's a duet I suppose?"

She couldn't help the edge of worry that crept into her tone as she posed the question. She couldn't imagine singing this song with anyone but  _him,_ the one she'd written it for.

Blaine scratched his head and looked at the plexiglass that separated the sound technicians before answering her. "Yeah, but for right now why don't you sing the parts that are yours? We'll have a musician record the other parts. We'll see how you like it and take it from there?"

He stepped from the room before she could respond and the door snapped shut behind him. She settled herself more comfortably on the stool and nodded to the waiting sound technician through the glass. The music started and she began to sing the new words. She had finished the original in just one take, the emotion too raw to be repeated, but this time she felt the need to try it a few times. She made it through the first verse and chorus a few times before feeling confident enough to have them start recording. She stood up and stretched her neck, shaking out all of the tension that usually accompanied this song. Her hands gripped the paper tightly before her whole body relaxed into the familiar song. She was pleased that they were using her original backtrack. She wasn't sure she wanted many witnesses for this again. She took a deep breath and began to sing the new lyrics for the soundtrack of her heart.

 **The day we met,**  
**Frozen I held my breath**  
**Right from the start**  
**I knew that I'd found a home for my heart...**  
**... beats fast**  
**Colors and promises**  
**How to be brave?**

Bravery was something that she'd lacked in high school. At least in the things that mattered the most. If she'd been braver she'd have chosen Noah.

 **How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?**  
**But watching you stand alone**  
**All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow**

**One step closer**

Her eyes closed as she began to sing her own lyrics. Tears gathered as they always did as she hit the chorus. She hoped one day that he'd hear them and know that they were for him; her words, her heart were his.

 **I have died everyday waiting for you**  
**Darling don't be afraid I have loved you**  
**For a thousand years**

She couldn't remember a time when he wasn't everything to her. The hurt between them seemed to have begun an eternity ago and all she could remember now was loving him. If only he'd give her the chance she'd give it all up. All of it, her success and her fame for him. There would never be another Noah Puckerman and the idea that she'd thought Finn Hudson would suffice was silly and only proved how little she'd known at 18. She wanted that all-consuming love that she'd described to Blaine all those years ago. And only Noah could love her like that. She could almost  _feel_ him today as she sang the words.

**I'll love you for a thousand more**

She hummed softly as she waited to begin the second verse. Her mouth opened in surprise when another, very familiar voice took the second verse for her. Her heart clenched as her ears deceived her.

 **Time stands still**  
**Beauty in all she is**

Because there was no way that he was there, that he was singing her words. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she fought to keep her eyes closed. She wouldn't be able to handle waking up from this dream. A warm hand covered hers and the familiarity shocked her into opening her eyes.

**I will be brave**

Warm, hazel eyes met hers from where  _he_ stood next to her. Her sight blurred as tears filled her eyes.

**I will not let anything take away**

She blinked furiously, willing the tears to clear her vision. A squeeze of her hand elicited a tiny sob from the back of her throat.

**What's standing in front of me**

He was really there. Singing her song, to her. His beautiful lips were tilted in a smile that wrinkled the skin around his eyes. She sucked in another long breath as she hungrily memorized his face. It had been so long since she'd really seen him.

**Every breath**

She stepped hesitantly closer to him as he continued to sing to her, serenading her with the words that came from the very heart and soul of her being.

**Every hour has come to this**

He raised an eyebrow and gestured towards her music with his free hand. She took another deep breath and joined him.

**One step closer**

Her eyes snapped shut in bliss as their voices blended together. There was a beauty to their voices that she'd never experienced with anyone else. For a moment she was standing in the choir room singing "Need you now" once again. She inhaled deeply and her eyes popped open as his familiar scent hit her nose.

**I have died everyday waiting for you**

A smile broke across her face as he turned his body into her and raised a hand to cup her cheek. As he sang the next words, she believed him with her whole heart.

 **Darling don't be afraid I have loved you**  
**For a thousand years**

She turned into his palm with closed eyes and sang their song, for it was no longer just her own. It never had been really just hers. It was all for him.

**I'll love you for a thousand more**

**And all along I believed I would find you**  
**Time has brought your heart to me**

Her mind flashed over every moment they'd spent together and apart in the last several years. She remembered every night that he'd watched her perform and that one earth-shattering moment when she'd finally found him in the crowd. She had been so afraid she'd never see him again after that.

 **I have loved you for a thousand years**  
**I'll love you for a thousand more...**

He was here, standing here. He was done running, done healing. He hadn't simply heard her song, he'd made it theirs.

**I'll love you for a thousand more...**

**One step closer**

He dropped her hand only to pull her closer to him as she began the last verse alone. Her voice was quiet as she serenaded him. His arms circled her waist and her own hand raised to cup his scruffy cheek.

**I have died everyday waiting for you**

Tears streamed down their cheeks and she knew that if she looked at the sound booth she'd see Blaine in tears as well. Blaine the friend that she'd never deserved, the one who'd taken care of Noah in all the years since they'd last seen each other.

 **Darling don't be afraid I have loved you**  
**For a thousand years**

The pain that all of them had faced in the past years had led them here, to this moment.

**I'll love you for a thousand more**

And as he joined her for the last verse she knew she wouldn't change a moment of it.

**And all along I believed I would find you**

Rachel still occasionally woke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat as memories and guilt washed over her. The way she'd treated Noah was inexcusable but she'd been a child then and in no way worthy of the man he was. She had realized long ago that she needed to forgive herself if she wanted to become the woman he'd always believed she could be.

 **Time has brought your heart to me**  
**I have loved you for a thousand years**

The love shining down at her from those beautiful hazel eyes made her knees shake. No one could ever love her the way Noah had always wanted to.

**I'll love you for a thousand more**

And as the music trailed away and his lips covered her own, she realized that there was no one on earth who could love Noah Puckerman more than she did in that moment.

_I'll love you for a thousand more._

 

 


End file.
